Nimbus Xlll ... part 6 of 6

Part 6 of 6

Ijon Tichy's space ship passes by in space look!

...Lets get outa here friend!...sooo...going at double allegro speed (is there such a thing ?), pigs get back in2 UFO and Moony reverses the coordinates put in 2 head back 2 Earth on Space Sat Nav (who happens 2 b a little peeved, in fact was a little annoyed coz was having a nice rest). (Click,clickerty click)...reverses corz 4 Earth...engines on....Vzhzhzhzhzhzh! (noise of well maintained thruster engines) Zhooooooooooosh!...UFO takes off...and soon...a loud announcement from Moony's Space Sat Nav startles them both back 2 consciousness (Tut! Both had fell asleep again must of been the big lunch)...saying...'Arriving at planet Earth in 5 minutes and counting'...

---Ok. Ok. thx Sat Nav, i con take eet from here. Space Sat Nav looks hurt once again but complies with request....Hzhzhzhzhzhzhzhv! (noise of well maintained reverse thruster engines...Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!  ...UFO landed and moonpig lowers the steps.

--Look, you forgot the anti-slip mats.

--Oh yeah, so i did. Never mind we con go agen another day :) You gona 'elp me unload the cargo bay and take stuff we bought  in2 me farmhouse ?

--Erm, okay.

sure them were caterpillar biro's we bought ???

--I'll get all these biros wiv pink fluffy...erm...pink fluffy, errr... butterflies ? (hope u got that but if not think about it carefully ! NOW ! ) Sure we didnt pick them at the Mall ??? Scratches butt !! U get the Nutri-Malik-Drinks Synthesiser. Careful it cost a lot ! Juz put it on the kitchen unit over there > next get the tree thingy & drag eet over here > points.

--It's really heavy Moony :(  Pant puff pant puff...Kschh ! drag drag.

--k i'll come & 'elp.

--Oh you are so kind Moony, (relieved look on friends face).

--Yup that's me, always the 'elpful sort :) Kschh Kschh Kschh! (noise of Upsidedown tree being dragged) Think we'll put eet here <...Hmm...or maybe there >...Kschh Kschh Kschh ! Hmm...perhaps we try eet over here ^...Erm perhaps we put it back here <...or there >...or down here a bit v. Wot u think friend ? 

--Friend mutters under breath somat like, 'wish you'd make your mind up or words to that effect ! '

think it looked better over...here...or then agen...??

--Yeah guess u rite, you know wot i think we'll put it back where it woz over here < :) now all we az 2 figure out iz which way up or down we az 2 plant eet. Wot u think, this way or that way ? How big U gona dig the hole 4 eet ? Hey ! u gone quiet. Moonpig looks round for friend...^0@0^...R, there friend iz...going thru me gate, an interesting devise 4 getting in & out of gardens so am told...scratches butt...says...some piggin friend i got. Well i hope friend knows i'm gona invoice friend 4 all those biros !!!   End.

Nimbus XIII ... part 5 of 6

Part 5 of 6

...This looks a good place 2 sit > points 2 a chair by a table by a cafe by a wishing well  :) Lets look at the menu........hmmmm.....here eet says, donuts a shady version of an imperative...think that ruffly translates az...a shade of green with little pink sparkles...think i'll az a donut 4 starters.

--I'll have 1 with a hole in cause i like holes...says friend with a big cheesy grin on face.

--Tut! rolls eyes, (fort 2 self...som muv-vers do av 'em) Lets av a coffee 2...need caffeine...caffeine iz a bitter alkaloid

Caffeine fix done now what u want 2 order friend ?

C8H10N4O2 found especially in coffee, tea, cacao, & kola nuts & used medicinally az a stimulant & diuretic if u didnt know :) friend smiles & smiles & smiles at me :) :) :) (like that)

--friend mutters....so thats why you keep running off 2 the little pigs room...(toilet 2 you & me pinky friend did recall... he might of been diagnosed with S.B.S. small bladder syndrome)

Alien insect waiting on us, erm...like i said, not sure 'bout gender, comes over, gets our order in typical style, chewing gum with a pencil & notepad in...in...'hand' ? U know...the usual mode :) . It shivers or ruffles its wings...infact does both. Think its getting ready 2 speak...Yup thought so....& with I.G.T (thats Instant Galactic Translator) still switched on...

--You ready 2 order...says the alien insect as it pauses, just 4 a second, then shooting out its long black tongue & licking its eyes in a nano-second...we stare in amazement...tongue recoils back in mouth.

--Yeah, we'll az this, this & 2 of those 2 start wiv...so now food is served and Moony orders yet again... We'll az 2 of those 2...points 2 menu...so 2 Quorn Dip-la-doe-kus burgers are

Looks del-ish-us !

devoured in record time...Moonpig says...time to go friend. Scraping of chairs heard!!! Friend tosses 2 coins on the table as a tip, (wonder where that come from as friends skin-pocket aint got any coins, just a half sucked mint...hang on...update coming in...just a quarter sucked mint with a very, very small amount of fluff on ??? ). Moony whispers 2 insect, erm...my tip iz...put ur money on the white horse :)

 As pigs make their way out of Mall, they pass a fountain copied from a famous Italian one. 

--Pinky friends says...Ooo thats pretty look how high the jets are Moony!!!...Moonpig  has to have a 2nd glance in bottom of fountain.

--Strange ? juz 1 coin in the fountain, thought shud b 3 ? Scratches butt. (guess who nicked the other 2 ). 

Hmm...now how many coins in fountain ?

On hearing a commotion round next corner heading back 2 UFO...some alien...erm...some thing...is standing up on a box shouting, (similar to story entitled, Unfair Tax...read it :) )... IT...is shouting, 'give me liberty, or give me death...'SssWhoosh! (noise of swift arrow whizzin' from a bow)...and so with that THEY (whoever THEY were/is/are), shot him/it neatly with a bow & arrow!..Plonk! (noise of heavy body erm...falling).

--Thought this was a friendly planet...says pinky friend 2 Moony, with worried look on faces...both of them....2b cont....

Nimbus XIII ... part 4 of 6

Part 4 of 6

...A Vacancy sign is in the next shop... it reads...job-vacancies - idiots wanted...

Any color u says ...erm...

--Doesnt fit our description, oinks Moony with a immense stupidity seeping slowly over snouty face...moving Allegro style now...(thats fast and brisk :) ). Lets c wot they got in the electrical shop. Rrrrr this...points > this iz the latetest Nutri-Malik-Drinks Synthesizer, must get me 1 of those. Wot color do u do 'em in ? i asks the alien sales creature...checking i still az me I.G.T. switched on...(for those who may have forgotten...Instant Galatic Translater)...
-- You can have pink, green, purple, orange & um, well...just about any color you wish.
--Great, i'll av black.
--Sorry mate...we dont do black.
--Sigh ! K, so juz give me erm, that 1 > points. 
--What does it do Moony ? I mean...how does it work ?
--W-e-l-l, eet con make any drink u want...but...it con even sense wot drink iz most suited 2 u :) & thats the 1 u'll get...most of the time :) Just have 2 plug it in, & talk 2 eet...say anything u want like...make-me a drink...then it gives u a drink c !
--Oh, i think i get it ??? Friend scratches head...again...must have fleas ?...so shopping is finished!!!
-- Soooo, lets pay at the checkout. How much pd did u bring ? (pd is potato dollars we use on MFF = Myfreefarm ). Friend puts trotters in2 skin-pocket turns it inside out & out pops a half sucked mint with fluff on...hmmm! doesnt seem 2 b owt else. Moonpig frowns ^>@<^ (like that). 
Seems I'll b buying those fluffy biros 4 u...Gets credit card outa skin-pocket...proceeds 2 the checkout...U take American Express ? Or i az this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this ?  :) (unravels a few more credit cards). Moony turns 2 friend, says...Dont worry Pinky friend...u con pay me back L8r !

Erm...which card u accept....?

--That will do nicely says alien till being, swiping card thru thingy...which is then 'handed' back 2 Moonpig. I smile at him, her, it ??? & the purr-chase iz made.
--I'm hungry says friend...If u pay, i can pay u back L8r, right ? Hopeful look on face of friend.
--Hmm, i suppoze, infakt am piggin hungry 2. Lets go & find a small cafe by a wishing well or a place 2 sit & eat.

--Now you're oinking...says friend skipping along, leaving Moonpig 2 arrange 2 send his purchases 2 his UFO....2 b  cont....

Nimbus XIII ... part 3 of 6

Part 3 of 6

...A welcoming committee greets the pigs...but alas all is intelligible.

me Instant-Galactic-Translator

-- We shall need this says Moonpig pulling an instrument out of his skin-pocket. Its a I.G.T...thats an Instant-Galactic-Translator, (see stories ...Planet 4saken and Nav-oo-r4). Moonpig switches it on &...

--This is, Nimbus XIII, alien said, Welcome to our friendly planet. Please make use of our shopping mall, thru that door there > (it's about 2 mile away but they are x-treamly long sighted) We hope you enjoy your stay :) This from a skittle-like ram, close up :)

Greetings from Moonpig !

--What a friendly lot ! Must return the compliment....so Moonpig starts his greeting...sticks trotters up snout, bobs tongue out (which iz a sign of respect so am told) crosses eyes, & if u real clever.....spins round on 1 leg with fodder beet on snout. And az pinky friend iz juz an ordinary common pig (no crown on head at MFF)...juz signals with trotters in air and says...up yours :) (greeting from previous very short story called 'club' dated Tuesday April 3rd 2012 if any 1 is interested).

 --Please put your bodies inside ...THAT >...points 2 a transparent transport tube. So obliging as we are like, we step in & wriggle our bodies down as is tight fit like...Whooooooosh! Wheeeeeeeeee! Whoooaaamm! down, down, down, thru a blue erm...tunnel. Skid skid slip (brakes on) slip skiddy-d-skid!...

WOW!!! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

eventually tube ends & plonks pigs un-serra-moan-e-us-ly on the Mall floor. Looking round eyes gaze on an array of colorful shops beckoning us in with flashing NEON lights urging uz 2 spend! spend! SPEND! Moonpigs eyes light up ! 

-- oOOooo look says friend, lots of biro's, you can never have too many.

--Yeah right but i az biros left over from Hero, the salespig, who came 2 me door (see story Salespig).

--But these have little pink fluffy caterpillars on the end...friend says looking sad :(.

--On seeing disappointment on friends little face, Moony relents saying...K, get a shopping cart and we put some in then.

--Yippee, shouts friend, jumping around with Excitement (whos him ?) & grabs a trotter-full & plonks 'em in cart filling cart 1/2 up but Moony takes 1/4 out when friends back is turned :) Next we take our time 2 meander around the gardening section at Grave speed (said this way> Gra veh)...slow and serious looking like :) Over in the corner is somat like a VERY VERY large tree-like object ?

...but which way iz up????

--Looks interesting dont u think, says Moony bending this way and that, over and under, inside & outside & any which way :) Moony examines the ticket as 2 how 2 look after...erm, tree-like object. 

--What is it ??? says pinky friend scratching brow, i cant make top or tail of it ?...& frowns ^>@<^

--It's an 'Upsidedown' tree u con plant eet in say, Australia,(friend shouts out Australia-hope u got that :) ) & it shud grow all the way down to Britain ! Or if the world is turning it just might end up in ...mumbles somat un-intelligable...Must get 1. Heave ho! Cor, eet tay 1/2 hevvy. Giz a helping trotter oost?...What else do we need ? Let's go down here a bit, come on push that cart a bit faster, stick ur back in2 eet.

-- Shouldn't you pay for it here Moony...pants friend, who sweats like a pig at all the exertion & > points 2 till....& security in the form of somat, watches on! (tick-tock)  :)

--No we not nicking the stuff it's ok we con pay at the end...com on juz karry on walking, [whistling a silly song ?]....2 b cont...

Nimbus XIII ... part 2 of 6

Part 2 of 6

...Rrrrr erm, read out sez, a very nice friendly planet 2 vizit wiv an impressive shopping mall, ooOOoo U wanna come along friend ?

--O.K. says pinky friend, grinning like a Cheshire cat. (wow i was so impressed with that ! I mean that must of been hard 4 a pig 2 do !!! )

--Sit there then and mind the controls, i remember wot happened last time !!!! (see story Nav-oo-r4)... good....settle down now...(friend grins broadly)...i'll switch on the engines....Vzhzhzhzhzhzh! (noise of well maintained thruster engines) now i make slight adjustment, juz...like...soooo. Moony moves the Electromagnetic Vibrator...just a little bit, Woammm-mmmm! (noise of...guess wot ). Think i'll juz set a corz wiv me Space Sat Nav az i noze that coordinates coz i wrote them down in me book...i found 'em out wen i waz cleaning this draw out c, (click,clickerty click)...(sets a corz 4 Nimbus XIII). Zhooooooooooosh!...UFO takes off...All done here pinky friend 4 now...az u bought somat 2 do, like read a book, till we get there ?

Is that Serenity flying by ???

--Um, no (looks blank > (  ) much like that < pigin hell that woz eazy 4 friend 2 do) How long will it take to get there Moony as i must get back in time for tea ?

--No probs, we con eat on Nimbus XIII...here...(shoves book in2 friends trotters entitled, 'The Pig-Hikers guide 2 The Galaxy', a paperback book with the friendly words DONT PANIC written on the cover! ). I gets me a book from draw entitled, 'Life, The Universe & Somat'...leaving another 2 read L8r...thats called 53 More Things 2 Do In Zero Gravity. It has gravy stains on it & a penciled in number 2.. :) couldnt think of Y rite now...not even 53 things ??? 

Hum of engines send pigs to sleep

Everything is hunky doory (going along fine), & with the hum of engines in background... both pigs drop off 2 sleep when.....a loud announcement from Moony's Space Sat Nav startles them both back 2 consciousness...saying...'Arriving at Nimbus XIII in 5 minutes and counting'...

--Friend wakes up with a JERK, (erm, we r not talking 'bout moonpig here !!!). Are we there yet, Moony ?

-- Almost, juz pick the books orf the floor then & put 'erm away....noise of Space Sat Nav continues....

Space Sat Nav...erm...talking :)

'Arriving at Nimbus XIII in 4 minutes and counting'...Ok. Ok. thx Sat Nav, i con take eet from here. Space Sat Nav looks hurt but complies with request...Hzhzhzhzhzhzhzhv! (noise of well maintained reverse thruster engines...Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...UFO landed and moonpig lowers the steps.

--Pinky friend says, You go first Moony :) & watch the steps, they might be slippy ;)

--Yeah thx 4 that. U wait at the top then while i go down...Moonpig descends with a bit of slipping and sliding as metal and trotters do not always go well 2gether, (well he'd upgraded from a even slippier wooden ladder).

--Friend squints & suggests...Might need some anti-slip matting on them steps...points with trotters.

--I know that ! Frowns ^>@<^ (like that)...i was gona buy sum from here Nimbus XIII if they az any ?

Stepping cautiously, trotters disappear slightly, as swirls of cloud drift around & about them & their ankles, (do pigs have ankles ?)....2 b cont....

Nimbus XIII ... part 1 of 6

Part 1 of 6

 Hmm! Not much 2 on TV, seen eet all b4. Twiddles trotters...I'll just play with this,...'Mee-Selfth', a gadget i bought off eBay other week. Iz new Tek-nol-ogy. Just switch eet on...(silence)...try agen :) ...still silence. Think i'll give 'Mee-Selfth' a leetle shake :) ...SHAKE SHAKE !!...Bit dee-zee now !

--Think you have to put batteries in it Moony, says friend.

--Oh, hi friend, erm...err yup i know ! Was juzz erm, shaking a spider out i saw creeping in eet.(am getting real clever at all these Earth Words. Spellings am lot better 2 since took lessons from a BIG Bird or not ? :) ) Errr...erm...Yes thats wot i woz erm..IZ doin'...Friend has telescope in trotters & says...

been lookin' through my telescope Moony :)

--Just been looking through my telescope (puts up 2 eye & moves it 2 & fro) & saw a twinkling planet...way up in sky ! Smirk (pleased look on friends face).

-- Well, where else wud u look 4 a planet says i...come wiv me in me UFO & i'll show u planet close up & c if eet az a name. Most planets do u know, (said in a smart alec way..hope Alec dow mind! Tough if he does!)Friend looks...impressed (or maybe has a flat snout with impression in eet! think 'bout eet!).

--Okay Moony, lead the way says friend running ahead.

Soooo...off they trot 2 Moonpigs cornfield where UFO is kept with cloaking device on. A metalic CLANG! is heard followed by a...a colorful x-clamation !  *@*!^*$*@#* (highly censored!, cant write it here)

--Is your head alright ? remarked friend looking a little worried  :( 

lots of improvements !!! ;)

--Yup, i'm...ok, but wish these stars **** wud go back in2 the sky rather then dance round me 'ed. Friend just stares ^O@O^ (like that) & watch the steps az u come, they con b very slip-pee-eeee! Whoa ! Watch out down b-low ! (slip-skid) Oops ! soz pinky friend. Let me just get orf ur head. Heh-hum (clears throat)...az u will of noticed...nods 2 inside of UFO...av made a few improvements...points 2 control panel with trotters...& this here...iz me D.V.T. button (Distance Vision Telescope)...Press! click!...like soooo & adjust angle with this &...ooOOO!...i c eet! Now just enter a few details here...points & enters ' WOT IZ THIS PLANET CALLED'...waits...waits...wa--Kick! (cant wait no longer)...whirl whirl! Che-kung! (noise of thingy)..R..iz

Moony's P.H.D.D.

Nimbus XIII...erm that rings a bell ??? Av heard that name b4. I'll juz enter a few details in2 me P.H.D.D (thats..Planet History Deducer Device) and giv P.H.D.D a look thru me telescope (shoves device up 2 telescope) that shud come back wiv a result soon...Meanwhile Moony puts his synapses in2 gear, a mass of cell connections, working (just 'bout) sooo puting his prefrontal cortex in2 action, which stretches & relaxes billions of neurons in...erm...err...wot woz that thing called now ??? Rrr a brain...!!!......2b cont.

How 2 let Go Of Resentment ... scene 3 of 3

Scene 3 of 3

One of Mootown's Pubs

... inside the 'Cock & Hen' pub.  Errr, wots that u say friend...no am not drunk & ur job iz 2 juz keep filming...ROLL CAMERAS! (Um, still just the 1 camera but sounds more impressive :) ) & ACTION...gentle swaying of camera...Moonpig sways 2 make it look...erm normal, erm level like :)...but cud b a bit worse 4...err...drink of the lager kind!!! Hang on! Think camera-pig iz doing the swaying 2 keep camera on Moonpig...R u filming yet ?  i frowns, ^>@<^ (like that!)

--mild or bitter... bitter or mild ? (i'll av a pint :) iz better than mild!...hang on...make eet a lager!thx,...glug glug glug!...rrrr that wuz...so refreshing...same again plz bar-pig. C how i said

Focus on the most important in bar. Hey! ME! not Lager!

'plz' how cud any1 refuse. Erm...x-am-in urself honestly. Ask, how easily am i offended ? Do i tend 2 make issues over minor matters ? The book i just rote says, “the 1 who keeps harping on a matter separates close friends.” Cud b the smell an-all ? Or...terrible noise of pig not able 2 play harp rite! That can happen at any time any place any where...that reminds me...i'll av 1 of those bar-pig as well...erm shaken not stirred....sip sip sip. Snort, grunt. They dow give u much in 1 of those! REFILL plz & make eet a double...erm a triple!...BURP ! So, hic! hic! if u av a tendency 2ward resentment, ask urself..... Could I b more patient with....erm....(mumbles somat un-intell-ij-able).D-side what iz truly important. Again in me book i juz rote says that there iz “a time 2 keep ur gobbing snout shut (hic!) and a time 2 grunt up!” U cud tell ur erm, friend whom u resent (cant think of wot 4...well it az been a long time,(few drinks in b-tween like :) ) since i started rite-ing this erm...err...(hic's & mumbles again)...erm...ask yourself, ‘Am i inclined 2ward bitterness ? or lager...bitter or lager...lager or bitter.

What? Whats rung wiv me eyes ???

Some times u can simply “av ur say in ur heart, upon ur bed,(with no sheets az pigs aint allowed sheets!) & keep silent. ” NO SNORING!!!...& that includes U.(points wiv trotters...2 U...so called friend! )

Dow dizz-guzz every offenze with ur piggin' friend az once waz...erm...or iz that iz...wait until ur irritation az passed...erm...try 2 calm down 1st. Perhaps the 'rong' waz not that serious anyways ? Try & oink respectfully 2 each other. Understand the meaning of Earth word,“4give”. The Earth word, “4give” iz translated from an original-language Earth word that suggests the idea of letting go of something. Soooo...in me book i rote somat like, "2 4give doesnt require that u minimize the offense or act az if eet never occurred eet could mean that u simply let eet go, realizing that resentment can do more damage 2 ur health and ur piggin-friendship & such,...than the offense itself.

Bar-pig...this stools NOT level !!!

Therefore, 2 4give  iz GOOD :) ...Disgusted muffled noises can b heard!!! Somat like 'Hey! U swaying a lot,  cant u keep STILL 4 a second!

--Right...who said that?....Come here u little toe-rag...i'll NEVER 4give u 4 that!....Wot ?...We still re-kording ???...Cut ! Cut! CUT !!!.... :)

How 2 let Go Of Resentment ... scene 2 of 3

Scene 2 of 3

Scene 2...still a live recording from, erm, Moonpigs 'studio'...& ROLL CAMERAS! (still just the 1 needed but sounds erm, more impressive) & ACTION...camera wobbles a little & catches Moonpig frowning just b4 big piggy smile...& Moonpig continues...
--If instead of putting resentment in the draw, u harbour eet and nurture, water & feed eet...eet will GROW and remember, u r only hurting urself. Again harbouring resentment iz like slapping urself in snout and then expecting the other pig 2 feel the pain :)...i'll just try that....SLAP ! OUCH! b-lieve me it does hurt! The pig or animal (Buzzards can b a pain 2) who is the

"Watch out!" Screeched Buzzard

foe-kuss of UR resentment might b feeling just fine, enjoying life, skate boarding, wind surfing, soaring in the skies, and perhaps not at all troubled by any of this, infakt the bottom line eez me piggy friends that resentment hurts U far more than the pig u resent.(Oh wot a load of dribble, still a pig az 2 make a livin' az i continue writing me book on subject & some1 will b-lieve eet & buy eet). Soooo...resentment iz a choice. Some pigs might doubt that. They wud squeal, ‘My mate or friend made me resentful.’ The problem iz, such thinking puts the emphasis on something that cant be kontrolled—the actions of another

Go buy my book...now!

pig (or Buzzard...az waz sed b4 :) ). The book i just rote offers

an alternative. It says, “Let each 1 x-am-in their own actions.” We cannot control what some1 else says or does, but we can control how we react 2 eet. Sooo...Wot u con do iz 2 take

responsibility 4 ur resentment. U know...4giveness iz a choice 2...sooo...my advice iz 2...erm...err...drink alot...whatever u az in stock az b-ing drunk helps u loose urself &...4get wot u hold

against...pig or any other animal...hey! we got loads on Animal farm, u must make time 2 read eet!.Thing iz...some pigs r more prone 2 anger & disposed 2 rage.(c former blog,'Keeping Anger Under Control'...part 2...& join Pigs Anonymous) Does that describe U ? Heh-hum!...(clears froat) Ask urself ham,(oink oink) i inclined 2ward bitterness ?...

Filming comes 2 a hault...for change of scene...No! i oinks..DRINKS r just 4 the star of the show...ME...& really

Drinks just for the stars..namely ME!

friend, u must keep the camera steadier else pigs watching will get dee-zee...grief...cant seem 2 get the staff these days! Hic! Hic! BURP! Muffled noise comes from so called friend...again...Moonpig grabs & shoves friend & camera in2 Pearl (3 wheeler) & tears down the road slowly 2 Mootown where the Pub iz...pulls all outa car & sets up in local Pub...

How 2 let Go Of Resentment ... scene 1 of 3

Scene 1 of 3

Scene 1...This a live recording coming from the Moonpig 'studio' actually his farmhouse, hey! but who's splitting hairs? ROLL CAMERAS! (just the 1 needed but sounds more impressive :) ) &...ACTION....camera swings round 2 Moonpig who smiles :) in2 camera...& begins with...

Get my best side in 

--Wot is resentment ? It is feeling bitter 'bout something that 1 thinks iz unfair...like the 10% tax in the market place ( c story entitled 'Unfair Tax' ). This iz sir-tain-ly gona b a CHALLENGE...(looks in book 4 an x-ample). R...here it says...Lets suppose that u cant 4get the bad things ur so called friend az said or done. Then how shall we put eet ?...the harsh oinks ! the thoughtless grunts ! r indelibly etched in ur memory plus that time when u got pushed in2 the gutter at Mootown Market and twisted ur erm...ankle(az pigs got ankles ?). Az a result, any piggy-feeling of friendship u once had, az been replaced by...RESENTMENT. 1st, though, consider a few facts 'bout resentment. What U Shud Know...A friend, erm who

And 3 farmies watched in awe

iz...erm...a friend...waz once like ur shadow. U went everywhere 2gether...errr...lets say u even like riding tandem bike 2gether,(erm iz hard 2 ride tandem separately.)So wot im saying iz holding resentments iz like b-ing unable 2 move 4ward due 2 a heavy anchor dragging b-hind tandem, (where on pigs Earth u gona put an anchor...in basket at front when u finish wiv eet ?). Any roads...holding on 2 resentment creates a burden,(like an anchor) that keeps ur friendly pig-ships, etc. from moving 4ward so 2 oink! And of corz...resentment can destroy totally a, erm...pig-ship. Y ? i hear u oink. B corz it undermines the very qualities upon which a pig-ship shud b built, including LOVE (or lust), TRUST (can u trust this pig not 2 drink ur favourite lager?), and LOYALTY (wots rung with sharing sows around ?). 

In a sense, then, resentment is NOT the result of a problem of the pig-ship kind...it IS a BIG problem.

Bye bye resentment & stay there !

4 good reason then, i wud advize u 2 stop this squabbling at once & let go of resentment...and even better still put eet,(resentment) in a deep draw 2 4get eet.B assured that things can improve...(then again???)....

Filming comes 2 a halt 4 change of scene...Moonpig oinks 2 camera-pig (me friend actually az iz cheaper 2 hire)...How was that ? Did i do okay ? Muffled noises come from friend...

--Hey I resent that!! .....end of scene 1

1 Iz Not Enuf ... part 3 of 3

Part 3 of 3

--Thought id come & check c if u made it home alright :) . Twiddles trotters b-hind back.

--Yes, av, sooo...wot u want now ! ?

--Can u spare a glass of water...please ?

--Glass by the sink, 'elp urself cant u c, am bee-zee right now !...munch munch...scoff scoff.

-- s'cuse me (said in little voice) but, (gulp!) am u gonna eat ALL those urself Moony ?...glug glug! (drinks water). friend gets bit choked up like.

--W-e-l-l, I bought 'em wot u think am going 2 do with 'em ?...Stuff 'em up me 'jacksy' ? ^>@<^ .

--I lost my donut....sniff sniff chin wobble says u, it must of fell out of me car on way home...somehow Wawwwww!(big blabbing noises)

Moonpigs eyes water...just a bit...stop ur blabbering, here, av this tissue & 1of me donuts.

Catch!

--Thx Moony u r a true friend :) chobble chobble!

--Think am going a bit soft.

--U look alright 2 me...maybe a bit...FLABBY, but never---Chuck!Whoosh!....Arrgh! friend ducks down 2 avoid flying donut. It bounces off friends head & on2 the floor & bounces again up, hitting friend in eye...Another 1 exclaims friend ? Wow thanks Moony...i like donuts with dirt on (blinks sugar off eye).

1 is not enuf !!

Moonpig fumes az wasnt intending 2 let friend av 2nd donut

--How come u buy so many donuts ?  R u an expert at eating them ?

--Well, heh-hum(clears froat) az u con deduce by 2days pre-seed-ings....1 IS NOT ENUF !

1 Iz Not Enuf ... part 2 of 3

Part 2 of 3

...Ting-a-lingle ling! (noise of shop bell). Hmm! wot shall i buy ? (takes out pd=potato dollar we use on MFF (myfreefarm) & counts...slowly az must make sure az enuf pd with me) right..think i az enuf, i got...mutter mutter mutter (Moony counts) & x-claims, that much, puts pd back in

Friend uses the word please...so polite

pocket...Meanwhile...Ting-a ling ling ! I turns 2 c friend enter shop & walks up 2 counter & says...i'll have 1 of those please (points 2 donut, wow so...polite) friend waves (~~~ thats a wave) & leaves. Good choice says me 2 meself...i'll have 1 az well...wot else shall i buy ? Better make eet another 1 (drools!) oh erm...& another...erm & errr another &...hang on i'Il juz az another erm & another...& so on ! Shop keeper pig gets infuriated look on face...cant think y ? Can U ? 

Erm...just another...erm...and another....

Sooo Mooney makes do wiv...few & hands over pd...actually az pigs dow av hands...trotters them over :) & exits shop, Ting-a-ling ling. Shop keeper pig breathes BIG sigh of relief.

--Want a lift home in me car, says friend who's been hanging around. (shud of got rid of coat hangers? Hang on ? Cant b rite az pigs dow wear clothes!)

--Erm, no thx...bye ~~~ (that iz me waving bye 2 friend...thought id let u know). Friend leaves in car. Think i'll catch buz instead...Bus pulls up. Tsssssss! (that noise of air brakes),hops on2 bus & scoffs donut.

Hey! No eating on my bus.

--Hey! No eating on my bus! grunts bus driver pig pointing 2 sign stuck on window. So when he hay looking i bobs me tongue out...rasp (like that)....gets home in farmhouse & puts donuts on2 plate.

--Oooo they look GOOD, says 2 self, Munch Munch...tayfssh delishoffssh (spitting sugary doh outta mouth)....Sharp knock comes at door...Knock Knock! Startled, Moonpig oinks out...whos that disturbing me now !...opens door...eek! needs oiling...Oh ! its U me pinky friend! Wot U wont ?....2 b cont.

1 Iz Not Enuf ... part 1 of 3

Part 1 of  3

RrrrrRRrummmm! (noise of Moonpigs stomach rumbling from lack of food 1 presumes).

Go on....desert me, blooming spider.

OOooo am real ravenous (big black bird...look 4 it :) ), infakt am hungry! Lets c wot i az in me pantry. Hmm, nothing! :(  Not even that spider (from story called 'Karaoke'). Seems az eez packed eez bags & moved out. Well i b blowed ! MrrrrRrrruuummm! Cor! think a vee-zeet 2 the shops in Mootown wud b advizable at this point &... az iz nice day, i'll walk...if i dont give out on t'road.

Honk honk! I jumps at sudden noise & turns round. Is friend moving slowly in a Red car wiv PINK interior, making friend disappear like a Kam-e-leon.  Friend oinks, where u going Moony ?

Perhaps friend will think it aint me if i ignore honking.

--I tries 2 ignore friend but friend is VERY per-sis-tant so i says...Oh hi friend :)  Ham going 2 shops in Mootown 2 buy some food. RrrrrRRruummm! (rumble in me tummy!). Grins sheepishly (& thats hard 4 a pig 2 do b-lieve me :) )

--Pantry empty again...mutters friend under breath...get in & i'll give u a lift, am going that way myself.

--Must i ? (cant b seen in this, they'll all laff at me).No 1 about so i quickly gets in,...sooo where u get money 2 buy this car then ?  Did u make the money urself....i gives out a oinky oinky snigger-laugh!

--My Mommy bought it 4 me 4 being GOOD 4 a whole month...(friend says proudly).

--Oh...shud of said somat, (rummages around in skin-pocket & pulls out...a bandaid plaster...never know when it will come in trottery,(not handy az pigs dow av hands) here u bin (hands over plaster az x-tra goody present coz am jen-er-rus 2 a fault).

--Erm wow! Thx Moony...erm...can u just erm, put ur back trotters in them metal loop things down there (points 2 a 2nd pair of pedals) & pedal away with me, only with more

Greggs makes yummy cakes and things :)

WEIGHT is harder 2 pedal if only 1 of us pedals :) .

--I groan...Groans(like that)...wondered wot the catch woz!...eventually gets 2 Mootown...gets out the car & heads 2wards "Greggs" the patisserie...or might go 2cake shop instead :)

--Wait 4 me oinks pinky friend...I turns round 2 c pinky friend parking...erm...car in car park sort of coz is at an angle like just been abandoned!....2 b cont.

Gone Fishing ... part 4 of 4

Part 4 of 4

...Moonpig oinks...K, sooo...lets hook these sprats on erm...fish hooks & c if we con catch somat.

---Thought we were trying to catch Mackerel not somat ? oinks piggie friend.

--- Erm...thats wot i mean, u c, Somat con mean different things depending on...blah blah blah! Moonpig gives l-o-n-g explanation on definitions of the word 'Somat', according to Moonpig...so do u get eet ?

---friend gives a puzzled look ^0@0^ (like that) says (    ) (nothing).

---Dont seem 2 b 2 many fish biting here friend :( Lets try over that side of boat.

Sailor Pig, with annoyed look on face & much shaking of newspaper, gets up 2 let us pass & me & friend just gives him a friendly smirk ;) like that.

one fish wears a cap ?

...Friend spots fish & grabs moonpigs attention (Ouch ! bet that hurt !)

Keep singing & dancing we might get a star role says fish !

---Wot u spot grunts me, & friend points with trotters 2 fish. 1 fish looks like it has cap on head. Whats MORE...looks like fish r dancing. Well u cud blow me down wiv a feather !!! :)...so turns boats radio on 4 'em...BUT...soon all sprats gone & nufin 2 show...as fish get tired out from dancing & disappear in2 depths of C ! Soooo...After 1/2 hour, Sailor Pig stands up starts engine and steers the boat back to shore.

---Well that was relaxing wasnt it Moony ? says friend getting excited.

---Moonpig frowns ^>@<^ like that...think we need 2 earn more Pd 2 go out further & stay longer...so heading back 2

An-de runs FASSSST!

Mootown, looks for farmie with trumpet & cap on head. An-De spys 'em 1st & wizz's off round corner & over road to catch bus to Tim-buk-2 or some other faraway place like Mali where it is 104 faren-height & sunny. Moony gives piggie friend, rods to take back while scratches butt...seems i caught somat like a 'Ik-thee-ol-uh-jee' type of de-zeeze...or somat...maybe :) ... well friend, i sighs, az friend returns, i didnt find eet very relaxing am all worn out!

---Well we cud go fishing...fishing as in the little stream that runs at the bottom of our farms. I'm sure i saw a stickleback jumping out of the water t'other day. I'll get me little fishing net and go try catch one...you want 2 come Moony ?... but

Erm...sticklebacks in stream on Myfreefarm :)

Moony had gone in farmhouse & closed door. Friend looked through window & cud just make out Moony fast asleep on library chair...some pigs just cant stand the pace thought pinky friend as pinky friend ran home to get fishing net.

Gone Fishing ... part 3 of 4

Part 3 of 4

...Hi, grunted pinky friend to farmie man. Here's your cap and trumpet back. Also few Pd :) ... An-De looked relieved & put his cap on FAST as he didnt like to be seen in a state of

spittle will erm...wipe off 

undress!...friend muttered, sorry trumpet will need to be cleaned from all spittle and cap just needs dust shook off :) An-De frowned in a half South African come German sort of way coz he couldnt remember how to fully frown!

---Cum on, i oinky shouts 2 friend, lets buy sum bait...So i buy sum Sprats & hires 2 rods. Next i oinks, we'll go 2 the dock 2 hire a boat 2 take uz out 2 C (sea...just a little way :) )

---Have we enough money then Moony ?

Sprats kept over here Moony !

---Yup! i played x-treamly well,(smirk) & u danced & sung...erm...okay-ish, & we got a lot of Pd (shows friend trotters full of Pd )especially wen we got paid 2 move on a time or 3. Now get in me car...then once again treats friend 2 a nice...erm ride in me 3-wheeler, (Hey this car has been converted to run on Fodder Beet Juice so as it goes like a rocket!(see Moonpig gets His Wheels also my name in there in part 3 :) ). Hold on tight!!!

---Okay, but please drive c-a-r-e-f-u---l---l---eeeeee(SQUEAL!).So we WIZZED off 2 docks like i said ! Think that last bit got lost in the .... wind ? Maybe ???

---Hi Mr Sailor Pig, i'd like 2 hire u & ur boat juz 2 go out 4 a little way & catch sum Mackerel. C i got me Sprats 2 catch a Mackerel (shows sprats 2 sailor pig, who looks non-2-plussed) Here iz the money i got can u take me & me friend out 2 C, 4 az far & az long az that will last (plonks money in2 sailor pigs trotters and smiles :) ... like that).

Sailor Pig pipes us aboard wiv his tin whistle(or descant

No crab...u cant come !

recorder) & starts engine & heads out to sea, but stops boat just 200 yards out.

---Thats as far as Pd will take u grunts, Sailor Pig, u have 1/2 hour to fish !

---Thats not long , ham u sure i moan & groan ? friend thinks i'm ill but ham not(think 'bout eet).

Sailor Pig nods his head & sits down on a stool to read his newspaper, occasionally looking up to see what we get up to & making sure we dow fall in the sea. Has he got insurance i wonder ?....2 b cont.....

Gone Fishing ... part 2 of 4

Part 2 of  4
...Well we can hire the fishing rods and buy the bait, friend says looking in skin-pocket and not finding much Pd, just half sucked sweets with a little fluff on :(

Can you slow down a bit Moony

---i az an idea, grunts Moonpig hanging sign on farmhouse door saying, 'Gone Fishing'...get in2 me 3-wheeler & ill show u wot we gonna do...shoves a reluctant pink pig in2 'Pearl' (name given 2 me  3-wheeler as humans on Earth seem 2 do this !!) Car takes off like a...a mad pig at steering wheel, making own traffic rules up as one goes along. (for more info see 'Moonpig Gets His Wheels' story of end of May through June 2014)...So now we are in Mootown where Moony sees a farmie with a trumpet  wearing a cap...the farmie wears the cap not the

I needs ur trumpet & cap....swipe!

trumpet silly!...S'cuze me Mr Farmie man but i az need 2 borrow a few things of urs...will pay u well wen i return the items :) oinks Moony...Swipe! (noise of...things b-ing borrowed) An-De day 1/2 look mad i con tell u :) Wot woz name of that Farmie i wonders ??? Somat, or Maybe ??? Cud b interesting name ...ermm. Soo we Wizzes off to where lots of passing pigs, animals & farmies erm....pass. Moony squeals 2 pinky friend, K...soooo, u dance round this cap (puts cap on floor), & sing !!! while i blow...woz gonna say me own trumpet,(but iz not mine juz borrowed c) sooo i play a tune or 2...we'll soon get sum Pd in cap ham sure!...Moony plays a lullaby on trumpet & is quite surprised to hear friend sing....# (hash means singing)...sooo listen!
---# Hush, hush-a-bye baby piglet...Be quiet Daddy Boar will be back in the morning, etc...etc....then unnaturally dances madly round cap...puff pant! puff pant! which is now filling up with Pd & a few other unmentionables so we wont mention 'em :)
---Then i plays trumpet tune 2 'Just 1 corneto', followed by 'My hat it has 3 corners'...German folk song so am told ?? erm sung in...erm...German. Scratches butt & thinks wots happening here ???

U dance & sing & i'll blow me trumpet

---friend sings # Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken, Drei Ecken hat mein Hut, Und hätt er nicht drei Ecken, So wär es nicht mein Hut...Can i stop singing & dancing now Moony ? grunts friend...looking all hot &sweaty !

---Erm, hang on...I juz look in cap...which seems reasonably full...k, sooo u my friend, (thrusts trumpet & cap less Pd into Pinky friends trotters) con take 'em back 2 farmie...give im this, An-De will b pleazed ham sure(with just a few pd thrown in)....2 b cont....

Gone Fishing ... part 1 of 4

Part 1 of 4
(1)Wot i need iz 2 take up a hobby like these Earth pigs & Farmies seem 2 do...so...i'll just type in 'hobbies' in laptop & c wot eet cums up wiv, ham sure i con pick somat out relaxing 2 do & soot-able...click click! tap tap! (noise of laptop keys b-ing pressed)...Wow ! says here that simply 'READING' a newspaper or book, even 4 just 6 minutes, con b enuf 2 reduce stress levels by 68%. It 'elps slow down the heart rate & eeze

Painting cud be good .

muscle ten-shun...Rrr, also says here that 'PAINTING' con b a beautiful & soothing way 2 kalm ur mind. The different colors av different energy levels & con sig-niff-i-kantly impact ur mood. Blue, 4 instance, iz associated wiv tranquility, purple wiv creativity & meditation, green wiv freshness,... think ham fresh az that iz me color :) erm yellow iz kon-nekted wiv optimism, orange wiv vitality, red wiv pas-shun, & so on. In fact, eet works az a kreative stress reliever that helps release pent-up ten-shun & anger...hmm...Wot iz next...'MUSIC' iz purr-haps the most kommon medium of art & 'ealing. Says both listening & komposing music 'elp relieve stress & kalm ur mind, music therapy reduces anxiety, improves kognitive 'ealth, decreases pain & pro-moats feelings of power.

If music b the food of love....play on :)

oOOoo....Playing musical instruments also 'elps u express urself & relieve 10-shun...think ham getting better at spelling earth words :)... Slow beats, in particular, r associated wiv meditative states az they encourage slow brainwaves ???...Did i tell u that i did take up 'LINE DANCING' but kept falling orf the line coz the things i had hanging 2 dry (not clothes az pigs aint allowed 2 wear clothes, rule 3 in me Animal Farm trotterbook similar 2 handbooks farmies like 2 use)made me dee-zee !
---What about fishing Moony, i always find it very relaxing.
---Oh, hi friend, didn't hear u cum in.
---Well the door was open so i thought----

'Fishing can be relaxing' says friend

---Yes, yes,..i interrupt, ur welcome any time u know that :) Fishing u say...hmm. Duz eet cost much ? only i avn't much Pd left (Pd is Potato Dollars, the money we use on Myfreefarm).....2 b continued

How 2 Deal Wiv Burnout ... part 5 of 5

Part 5 of  5

 ...even if u az reached a mutually agreement 2 help ur piggin' neighbor, u can bet ur life (or whatever u az on ur pigson) 2 b pressured again 2 take on more work than u can cope wiv. What can help u 2 remain firm 2 ur original agreement ?

Go away, av me own work 2 think about!!

Keeping commitments that u AV made wiv said neighbor or doing NO MORE than agreed ? Well i recall nother Proverb that goes somat like this...Heh hum! (clears throat) 'let ur oink mean oink & ur grunt mean grunt!'...now thats clear...az clear az mud :) az me moma wud oink...sniff sniffle sniff. Sooooo...1 way of getting rid of pesky pigs iz 2 ask pig 2 do the same 4 u in return...lastly number 4 on me list of how 2...erm...errr...NOT burnout iz 2...

(4) RENEW URSELF...(another name 4 , roll in the mud!). Wots this i hear u oink!...Well, even when ur work iz 3 of erm...major problems u may still av ur share of err...stresses, diffikult animals & pigs, & unpleasant situations 2 deal wiv (hope am getting all these Earth Words spelt rite :) ) erm...unpleasant as i waz saying like, aving 2 share a mud hole with a FLAT-ULANT pig...urgh! stinky or...stinky!. Sooooo make tyme 4 enuf rest & balanced recreation...mine iz 2 get a tin or 3 of lager outta the

Time 2 relax wiv a tinnie or 2....or 3

fridge....erkk!  (noise of fridge opening)...like so,plonking down on favourite chair...Plonk!(me frone wiv real comfy cushion on it, but library chair will do 4 now)...like so...open can...sppfffll (noise of opening can)...drink eet glug! glug! glug!(no x-pla-neigh-shun needed) & Click! switch on T.V. (again no x-pla-neigh-shun needed :) ) . Remember that recreation dow az 2 b x-pensive 2 b refreshing 2 u...& ur...FAMILY...if live wiv a...a,(tears well up) sob sniffle ,wipes snout wiv trotters (regains composure)...family. Can u really make the changes needed 2 deal suck-sessfully wiv burnout ? Heh-hum!, take a look at this scene.......A sow takes time 2 relax by reading & doing needlepoint.

Time 4 family 2 relax :)

Piglets play on x-box or playstay-shun pushing & shoving each other around...oinking me 1st no me 1st, etcetera. Clouts given 2 all naughty piglets...ah! this iz the life....NO BURNOUT HERE !

Proverb coms 2 mind, 'better iz a trotterful of hard work & b-ing.....erm,(mumbles az cant recall ending ???) Sooooo there we az it me fellow pigs & other animals. O, i spy a UPS delivery van outside...'bout time me last order came! Hey-up !post iz coming 2 (like buses....wait 4 1 & erm 2 comes ?)...thx post pig i oink...(opens post)...delight spreads cross face & x-claims...Rrrrrrr my new 10 credit cards...cant wait 2 try 'em out :)