The Commissioners Speech 2016

Moonpig oinks & yawns !!!!
Over 6 years now... 6 years & 9 months by me rekon-ing, i az been dumped here on this dismal planet they call Earth...ahhherrrrrh ! (thats a big sigh).
Nuffin 4 eet but 2 grin & bear eet....wonder if i ham missed back home ?  Let's c...at this time of year i wud b playing 'Blind Pigs In The Buff' & 'Spin The Tail On The Pig' , 'Musical Stools' & 'Pass The Parsnip' amongst other games. We wud b x-changing Happy Commissioner Day cards & presents wiv family & friends & the day a 4 we wud b decking the tree trunks outside wiv nails & holly.  So i do this ear( wrong Earth word

Playing me 'Johnny Guitar' :)

spelling)...deck the tree trunks outside wiv nails & holly but this year i also tie a big yellow ribbon round an old oak tree (song in there ham sure) i az eet growing in me forest...the oak tree :) 
Wonder if they still remember me ??? ahhherrrrrrh ! thats another big sigh :)
Inside me farmhouse i az strung up last years streamers they look pretty & bin blowing up balloons wiv blasting powder 2 :) Not 2 mention that 2day all the table iz spreadout wiv deli-kassys like leaves, acorns, roast termites & scarab beetles b sides grubs of differing kinds...so i'll not mention eet :) mjam mjam ! Crunch gobble...burp! Opps ! pig yer pardon ;)

Grubs, Earthworms, Little Blighters wot ever u call 'em

Did u know there r approximately 2,700 different kinds of the little blighters ???,...& loads of lager of differing kinds & strengths 2 swill eet all down wiv...tut! i'll giv eet me best shot...Glug glug glug ! :)
Well...all me farm animals av been fed & seen 2 & winter fields ham ok...soooooo think i'll head out 2 the cornfield & go & tinker about in me UFO, thats where i keep eet with cloaking device on....ahhherrrrrh ! sigh!
Was messing 'bout in me UFO...like 1 does when suddenly.....Szzwhoo-Zhooow-Shzooowoo....& this hologram appeared in front of me eyes..twas a big green pig wiv his favourite pet cat named Mog on his lap...i rubbed me eyes wiv trotters.
Twas great illustrious leader of Zork...me home planet...& he is known by the title "Commissioner" & he grunted out....erm...i wrote some of it down 4 u c ? erm...think i'd better translate 4 u.

Commissioner with Mog

Says....A message from ur Commissioner,  eh hum (clears throat) Loyal subjects....Another year az com and gon, Blah blah blah...drone drone drone...wow how long he goes on & on, telling how great eet iz 4 sum 2 sacrifice 1 self by giving of 1 self 4 planet Zork & remembering those who av...& how sum may never b seen again...? Phew! At last he says...& it gives me great pleasure 2 announce that u may now celebrate "Commissioner Day"....Sooooo let the celebrations b-gin, eat drink & throw up...Then just as he appeared, he disappeared...suddenly...like.
WOW ! oinked I.
U know i thinks there r times when a pig of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders...wish i add fort of eet b4 ^>@<^ (thats me...frowning). Perhaps they aint 4got me...& i wonder if they av  got a day on Zork that remembers all those who gave their lives up 4 the good &  that they r still trying 2 contact me... 2 get me home....sob sob sniffle & me chin wobbled...just a bit...think i herd 'nother voice saying " & may the force b with u ", but whether it was the Commissioner...or just me thinking it ??? 
Ahhherrrrrh ! Biggest SIGH yet !...My Papa used 2 say 'There is a way out of every box, a solution to every puzzle; it's just a matter of finding it.'
Hmmm...i never found the box, but i got the glue :) ... shall av 2 think more 'bout eet...anyway...av a nice day every 1 out there & do knot eat 2 much :) MP signing off.

The Pig He Was A Dreaming

The pig he was a dreaming and this is what he dreamt...

It was 12 days before mid-night
and the moon shone brightly
The stars came out adding more light
and the moonbeams danced sprightly.
The wind blew up and in an instance
appeared a colourful rainbow
Then northern lights glowed over France
as snow flakes fell in slow-mo

It was 12 days before mid-noon
and the sun jaded brightly    
A meteor shower spread awe and gloom
still the clouds moved on bravely
A speeding cyclone slowed right past
leaving a trail of creation
A blinding shadow revealed the past
disinterest the new fascination

It was 12 days before mid-second 
the ozone layer was shrinking
A shower of rain sprung and syphoned
so the empty pail went minging
Along with sleet came blinding storms
the forecast now much better
From Africa came miles of swarms  
of winged locusts even wetter

It was 12 days before mid-minute 
and the mist thickened thinner
Like the weather written in sanskrit
It slowed down to a simmer
Next came a drought with angry blast                                      
hail, slush, sleet and wildfire 
Switched on the TV for the newscast
it showed everything was haywire

It was 12 days before mid-hour
so the isobars packed tightly
A moderate breeze flattened a tower 
still the bricks will come in nicely
Within sight there came a hoar frost
glistening, bright and shiny
A gale breathed fire that criss-crossed
and made one swear, 'cor blimey'

And the pig dreamt on....and on....and on....and on....

Losing Any Extra Weight...Takes Time!! ... part 3 of 3

Part 3 of 3

 Moonpig gobbles all the snacks down in double quick time [Allegro = thats fast & brisk]
Pinky frowns at Moonpig, ^>@<^ [like that] and says, thought you were trying to lose weight not pile it on!!!
--That's okay we con walk all the way back after...[Moonpig

Snout drooling cakes....

notices the Pastry Shop just off to the top right] Dont want pastry shop 2 feel left out do we Pinky ? :) lets c wot they selling 2day.
--Oh, you going to buy me a cake Moony ?
--Erm, think i can manage that 4 u seeing az u such a good friend, com on.
Over they trot to the Pastry Shop stall. The cakes set Moonpig's snouty mouth drooling & Pinky's eyes light  up...eyes agog! Pinky takes her time looking at all the delicious cakes, pies and pastries.
--Pick 1 cake then, we hay got all day...[said in a 1 octave above normal voice !]
--Erm...i'll have....[trotters move back & forth the row of equally delicious cakes] etc.
--Hurry up...grunts a stern Moonpig...we hay got all day!!! Think ham repeating meself here ???
-- I'll have that one...> points to a strawberry cake
--Good choice :) Erm, hi Mrs. Pastry Shop lady mam, con we av 1 of them strawberry cakes 4 me friend here > points 2 cake & then 2 friend. Thx. Here u bin Pinky go & eat eet over there at the table while i just av another look [drools] I cant decide.
--And what can i get for you green piggie ? All my cakes are freshly baked :) says Mrs. Pastry Shop lady.
--Erm, i'll have a cherry cake, a carrot cake, onion tart, a walnut cake roll, & erm...wow...bee sting cake looks trotter licking good...Oh wot the piggin 'ell, i'll take 1 of everything u got.

Cakes all looked nice sooooo.....

Moonpig makes use of a very large tray and places them gently on the picnic table.
--You never gona eat ALL those are you ? I mean just look at ALL those cakes points > [like that]
--Juz watch me......gobble gobble munch crunch slurp burp! Om nom nom chomp! B-U-R-P !!! Opps am making a pig of me self  :)
Looking at the space for another business yet to be installed at the picnic area, there is a note asking 'would be' customers for suggestions for what they would like to see there. Sheets of paper & a pencil tied with a piece of string can be seen there.So it would seem like a survey is in process. Moonpig takes a sheet of paper & writes for a confectionery shop or ice-cream parlor to be erected. Pinky writes for health foods & more choice of drinks containing goats milk etc. etc.
Walking through Mootown...Greggs lies in the not very distance.
--Just can't pass by Greggs without getting me sum donuts, oinks Moony :)

Mootown's Local Pub

The Local pub, The Cock & Hen is nearby as it happens so...
--Those donuts av made me firsty...i'll just av a lager to swill 'em all down.
Pinky folds her trotters & makes tutting sounds, shaking head at same time.
--BELCH ! Erm...look Pinky I knows i says we will take a genteel walk but i'm just about knackered or extremely tired, or both :)  Think we'll catch the bus home [disgusting look spreads across pinky's face]....Wot...Wot ! U can walk if u like.
--Thought I was going to help you lose a bit of that belly fat, sighs pinky friend.

Juz finish me donuts

--Yeah & u az 'elped...but loosing any x-tra weight..well it takes time :) END

Losing Any Extra Weight...Takes Time !! ... part 2 of 3

Part 2 of  3

...they come to the picnic area...
--Phew, am rite firsty, grunts Moonpig.
Pinky thinks....surprise surprise ! & tuts!!!
--Wiv all that genteel walking, az given me a first, lets get a drink i az pd in me pocket. R, the Soda Stall. What u want Pinky me bestest friend ?

I'm buying..wot u wont?

--Ooo! if you're buying i'll have a carrot juice please :)
--K, go get a seat & i'll bring eet over :)..Hi Mr. Soda Stall Farmie man...i'll av a carrot juice 4 me friend over there > [points] & i'll av...erm...err...erm...one of those, those, those & ...Oh blow i like em all !!! Better av 1 of everything.
So Soda Stall farmie man sells Moony a carrot juice for his friend sitting down, over there > & Moony has one as well plus a raspberry, tomato, apple, herbal tomato, herbal carrot juice...PLUS a radish milk shake & a strawberry milk shake.

Pinky grunts, my, you have worked up a thirst!!!

--My, you have worked up a thirst, exclaimed Pinky....Moonpig smiles :) like that.
Meanwhile, the captivating aroma of frying wafts around Moonpigs snout ! This emits from the Snack Booth, just a little way down to where they are sitting & sipping their drinks. Pinky has a straw to drink through while Moonpig just removes the lid, & gulps it down. Nothing like manners is there ? Well thats what i said no manners here then!
--All that drinking az giv me an appetite :) grunts Moony.
Moonpig takes out the Dick&Harry from his skin pocket and looks up the word Appetite...Definition says...Appetite is the desire to eat food, sometimes due to hunger. Appealing foods can stimulate appetite even when hunger is absent. Appetite exists in all higher life-forms, and serves to regulate adequate energy intake to maintain metabolic needs!
Well az a higher life-form Moony reasons, he needs to keep up his metabolic needs.
--Where you going ? We are supposed to be exercising!! squeals a disgruntled or even fed up pinky pig friend.

Pinky friend you grab a seat....b 4 farmies get 'em

--I needs 2 get me metabolism up. Az a higher life form then u >[ points 2 Pinky ]...i < [ points to self ] need all i con get :) Take a seat by the Snack Booth & i'll buy u a...snack. Wot u want ?
--Erm...i'll have a cucumber salad please if you are buying  :)  
--Of corz i am :)
--Then...erm...make it one of those posh salads, an Italian salad. :) 

--That's gona b x-pensive grumbles Moony taking his credit

Didn't know wot 2 get, soooooo got 1 of each :)

cards out :(  Hi Mr. Snack Booth man...i'll have an Italian salad for me friend over there > [points] & i'll av erm...err...a fries with ketchup...or shall i av that wiv mayo...hmmm...or fries wiv ketchup & mayo...might av 1 of EACH...& i'll have a pumpkin soup, spinach stick bread and erm...1 of each of wot i'v left out...Please :)...2 b cont.

Losing Any Extra Weight...Takes Time !! ... part 1 of 3

Part 1 of  3

Standing tactfully on the weighing scales, Moonpig tips slightly forward to see the result. As he does so the scales call out 'one at a time please'.

Thought that can't b rite, so i get orf the piggin' thing & try again. This time i jumps on 'em to give 'em a surprise...Boing! bow-wowing ! [noise of breaking scales].

Scales must be wrong !

Okay so i did look a bit chubbier than...than last time; so went 2 find me hoola-hoop 4 a bit of geteel x-ercise like :)

--R, here eet iz...well flip me...it's gone smaller...Gasp! Cant seem 2 get eet 2 spin round ??? Not much space 2 wriggle about me waist !

--Think you have been delving into the biscuits & cakes too much Moony, oinks Pinky, ducking down incase a flying trotter came her way.

--No NO!, iz this hula-hoop...eet must of...[looks in Dick&Harry for appropiate Earth word]...shrunk! Yes shrunk in this erm...damp :) [points >  to steam coming off the pans on the stove]. 

--You need to cut down on eating or...get some exercise program going, says Pinky in what was hoped to be a helpful if some what squeaky little voice...Shame the Gym barred us last time we used it.

--Impossible, impossible, piped up Moonpig. Cut down on me food !!! I needs me strength u know else i shall fade away [makes a swooning gesture]...& frowns ^>@<^ [like that]

I can help !

--Well i can be a help if you like...oinks Pinky sitting down at table & grabbing a fork & knife in trotters, licking lips in the process.

Soz, not cooked yet

Moonpig quickly turns off cooking pots on stove, [huh! as if he was gona share...no way], grabs friend by the lugholes...You can 'elp me wiv the x-ercise. Let's go 4 a little stroll...yes that shud do eet...a genteel stroll will get the ball rolling :)

Pinky looks around for the...rolling ball, but sees NONE ! so shrugs shoulders.

Outside Moony's farmhouse, Pinky friend reminds Moony that before any exercise is undertaken one should warm up first.

--Erm, well have you brought the firewood ?

-- What do you want with firewood ? Pinky chuckles.

-- Erm, well how u gona warm up then ? Scratches butt.

Like this...& this...& this 

--Like this...& this...& this...Pinky demonstates with s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g exercises.

--K, oinks Moony, now u warmed up, lets get gone. We'll go the other way round 2 Mootown.

Hmm, thinks Pinky to herself, that means we will hit the picnic area first ! .....2b continued

The Arrow Of Time

I keep hearing noises going round in my head
I keep hearing voices and this is what it said
It was the ticking clock, the ticking clock
And this is what it said

That time exists now 'aint that the truth 
I will tell you this without reproofs
Nobody knows more than me the cause
Past and future they all have their flaws

My head explodes with kinda weird noises
But then I don't make the best of choices
While the past is fixed, the future must occur
Those equations don’t lie, still it's all a blur 

Now time moves quickly as we all get older
Just look in the mirror, Ah you're feeling bolder
No sense at all to be living in the past
Though reversing time could be a real blast

Say, a billion heartbeats are in a lifespan
One mistake and you'll be in a tin of spam
So don't let on you hear noises in an instant
Bow to disorder, some complexity, and grunt

The Arrow Of Time goes in either direction
pull together we all need some protection
It's said time and tide wait for no man
but i'm a pig and i can prove it so i can

I keep hearing noises going round in my head
I keep hearing voices and this is what it said
It was the ticking clock, the ticking clock
And that's what it said

Epilogue: Can somebody stop that clock !
               Take the batteries out from the outside in to the inside out !
               What's that ? No batteries ? Oh, it's wind up. Just get me hammer then.

Vision With A Mission ... part 14 of 14

Part 14 of 14          

Dalai deep in...Enlightenment

...ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm...a Bright Shining Light FILLS the TEMPLE like ENLIGHTENMENT PERSONIFIED!!!...it gets brighter and brighter as the Chant seems to get louder and louder & RESOUNDS in every corner and becomes deafening. Dalai is surrounded by a BLINDING DAZZLING LIGHT [Ah ! Enlightenment !!!]....Then FLASH !!!! FLASH !!! FLASH ! & the Llama is no longer there!!! The Temple room is EMPTY!

--What just happened, squealed Pinky trembling & shaking like a leaf (& thats hard for a pig to do, believe me).

-- Think we just found out wot Enlightenment waz all 'bout !!! Maybe :) grunts Moony, rubbing his eyes as well.

Outside now...they see a big bird sitting on the wall...an Andean Condor, an enormous bird with the largest wing span of any land bird, at 3.2 meters. 

--Greetings sweeties...my name is 3ndy (pronounced Andy)...& a big grin appears on birds face :D (like that)

--Erm...con u take uz down the mountain & a little further 2 the beach just past Lima ? (thats where Moonpig left his UFO). Suppose u will b wonting a fee :(  but we dont az anything 2 offer u :(  (...shrugs shoulders...) no bags c, they sort of...went up in the Enlightenment...(Looks up & motions with trotters to sky.)

Where do you want to go squawks 3ndy ?

--You are a good egg, squawks 3ndy, you have already paid, get on my back & i will take you where you want to go.

While Moonpig & Pinky climb aboard the Andean Condor, Moony notices somat about the bird that it has a golden glow to its feathers, & whisper 2 each other...

Soaring high.......

The Bird continues...I have been waiting over 1000 years for reincarnation. All living things die and are reborn again. Your rebirth into the next life will be based on your behaviour in your past life. Unfortunately i was not as PURE in my THOUGHTS as a Llama should be. But thanks to you and your recovery of the Pearl, the Scroll and the Ancient Bones you returned, i have moved on to another life...at last :)

Moonpig & Pinky look at each other wondering what on earth the bird named 3ndy was on about ???

Set corz 4 home, grunts Moonpig

Soon the pigs are returned to the site of Moonys awaiting UFO. The 2 pigs walk towards the UFO.

--Shouldnt we thank 3ndy, oinks, Pinky for getting us here so quickly ?

--Suppose so, erm thx erm...erm...On turning round...to the Condor...well where it was reckoned it would be......The bird was nowhere in sight!!! 

Lift off !

Just a noise, like the sound of the wind singing... # Back to life, back to reality Back to life, back to reality, Back to life, back to reality, Back to the here and now yeah Show me how, decide what you want from me, Tell me maybe I could be there for you...ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm...ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm...ÖÖhhmm....& thats THE GOSPEL TRUTH!!!..........end

Vision With A Mission ... part 13 of 14

Part 13 of 14

...we see a LLAMA doing what looks like 'Tai Chi' so beautiful and calming...after the exercises come to an end or cease :) , Moonpig & Pinky slide gracefully across the ground.

--Ouch ! U trod on me trotter snarls Moony.

Erm...spoke too soon. Okay so they walk awkwardly & clumsy up to the Llama, as Moony was limping a bit :)

That's the Llama..like his...erm...robe thing :)

--Hi Mr, Llama...oinks Moonpig...grinning, [with pain, think that should be grimacing but...who cares as Moony wears same expression on face as smiling here :) ] U wont get slimmer wiv them sort of X-ercises, u need 2 move it a bit... like this...& Moony & Pinky sings & dances, [not again i hear you say] # I like to move it move it! She likes to move it move it! He likes to move it move it! You like to...MOVE IT !!!

--The idea behind many of these exercises, says Llama...is to Restore the Balance of ‘qi’ or vital energy in the body...[Llama does not get tempted to get his 'finger' cymbals out and join in the "move it" song.]

--Oh :( oinks Moony...erm...(mumbles somat unintelligible). Erm, My name iz Moo----Llama cuts him off.

--YES, I have been waiting for you Moonpig !!! My name is DALAI LLAMA. I am THE present Llama. You may call me Dalai...both of you...& Llama smiles :) (like that)...At this Pinky gives Dalai her BIGGEST smile :D 
--U az been waiting...4 ME ? < Exclaims Moony pointing to self in surprised manner ^O@O^ !!!.

--I BELIEVE you have something for me. Something I...Thought-Contacted you with..by means of a VISION. I believe you are SENSITIVE to this way of contact ?

--Yes Yes...it's wot we green pigs r known 4... that iz until a few years ago when Commissioner suddenly stopped all contact :(  i don't know Y. Perhaps the Electron Magnetic Stratosphere Forces clashed wiv the Sun Strokes causing a Malfunctioning of the Photonic Infinity Probes, which caused the Collapse of the Sling Shot Manoeuvrability...which in turn----

--Stop stop, i have to ask, [Dalai shakes his head], do you really think that the long term relativity side effect of the so called Sling Shot Manoeuvre can be calculated by means of a factored Trans-differential Equation ?

??? Moonpig looks...flummoxed, bewildered or perplexed...or all 3 MAYBE :)

---All humanity & animality for that matter, Dalai continues,....is wondering from LIFE to LIFE through countless REBIRTHS. I myself was born from an egg, on top of this mountain (gestures with ears to all around :) )

--Then why aren't you a bird ? oinks Pinky friend.

--Alas, we all SUFFER the CONSEQUENCES of actions PAST & PRESENT...Dalai the Llama looks sad :( (like that)...but just for a fleeting second.

Follow me...piggies

--Wanting to be encouraging, even supportive, Moonpig philosophising says...Confucius says...A friend iz sum 1 who thinks u r a good egg, even though u r a bit cracked :) This brings a knowing sort of smile to Dalia, who gestures for the 2 pigs to follow him.

--You must follow me to the Temple, with the 3...uhf! uhf! [coughs!] thingys as you say. The PEARL, the SCROLL and the SPECIAL BONES of a Former Deceased Spiritual Leader.

Inside the TEMPLE which is quite large...it has just one room with tile floors that feel cool under bare trotters.

What a nice erm...temple...bit cold under trotters though!

The ALTAR has 3 empty slots or depressions. One is round, one is oblong & the other is big enough to hold some bones. The aroma of smoking INCENSE and aromatic flowers, fills the room...& small statues of animals & objects made out of wood & stone are placed around the erm...place. Moonpig takes out the PEARL from his skin-pocket, gives it to Dalai who inserts it into the round slot...SSLOOOK! (noise of pearl connecting perfectly). Pinky takes out the SCROLL from the holdall & gives it to Dalai who inserts it into the oblong slot...FLOOOK! (noise of scroll fitting perfectly). Moonpig takes out the

The pearl, scroll and bones are set in place.

ANCIENT BONES of a FORMER DECEASED SPIRITUAL LEADER gives them to Dalai the Llama, who inserts them into the space big enough to hold some bones...SKRROOOCH!...The scene is set!!

Dalai thanks Moonpig & Pinky & tells them to go outside & find a quick way down Hush-a bye Mountain, and on to where the UFO is waiting on the beach near Callao. The pigs who are now outside, sneak a peek inside.

--Shhh! Lets c wot happens, whispers Moony.

Dalai sits in his Spiritual Chanting Position...& begins.....ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm,.ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm, ÖÖÖÖhhhhhmmmmmm....His CHANTING fills the TEMPLE! On & ON the Chanting goes...when......2 b continued

Vision With A Mission ... part 12 of 14

Part 12 of 14

...it makes a TICKING sound...The Demon eats his now well done to a crisp, Lightly Dusted Lemon Sole Fish, thats past it's sell buy date & use by date.

--Moonpig oinks to Pinky...time 2 go i think while he > points...doe trick uz in2 giving him our Bodies 2 eat az well !

Soooo off they sneak, back the way they came. Searching on the ground a little way from the Sacred Totem Pole, Pinky squeals with Delight, [who ever she or he is as thought only us 2 were here]. Anyways we follow the Moulted Crocodiles Scales to the river...listen...tick tick tick!.

Well...go on shove eet down iz froat !

--Take the potion, jump on croc's back & when he opens iz mouth 2 eat u...chuck the potion down it's froat!

--ME ! ME ! Why me ? oinky-sobs Pinky.

--Coz u r...erm...ermm...whats the word ? (mutters under breath somat like...Dispensable...but)...erm...coz ur'll b real GOOD at eet (comes out from Moonys mouth ;) )

Here comes the CROCODILE...tick Tick TIck TICk TICK !!! Pinky hesitates so Moonpig picks her up & throws her on the back of Croc...Croc twists his head & opens his mouth in readiness to DEVOUR poor Pinky :( Don't worry kiddies, he he :)

N-n-n-n nice crocodile take your medicine.

--Drop the potion in Crocs mouth, i oinky grunty squeals!!!...& to cut a long story short, Pinky chucks the potion..CHUCK ! (noise of potion being erm...chucked) Croc looks surprised OO (like that) swallows GULP !(like that), Pinky jumps off & swims back to the river bank and after 10 mins or shorter Croc stands up in water, rubs his tummy, turns a shade darker of khaki...[Hmmm, not az nice az me :) ] & PUKES! A lot of...old bones gets spewed up on shore & i egg on Pinky 2 scoop 'em up & put 'em in the...erm holdall :) (ha ha, bags keep changing names...to avoid...detection ??? ) then we runs like...a speeding bullet, back 2 The Path Of Enlightenment. 

That looks like the circle i saw in me vision

--Phew ! That woz a close call...wipes sweat from brow b-tween legs (Yoga position so am told). Well done Pinky friend :) Juz got 2 go a little way up this mountain now [it's VERY STEEP]...3 hours later...

--Are we there yet ? inquires Pinky, puffing & panting.

--Yup, look ^ points (like that)...in the distance a wall can be seen at the top of Hush-a-bye Mountain. The open gateway looks like a circle from this distance.The Circle Of Life, whispers Moonpig in AWE, I saw a circle in my vision...It's the CIRCLE OF LIFE......

Moonpig & Pinky sing a DUET or MAYBE they just sing at the same time. # And it moves us all, Through despair and hope, Through faith and love, Till we find our place, On the path unwinding In the Circle, The Circle of Life...

Eventually they reach the top & to the left of the gate, before going through is a copper GONG.

I'll bang the gong grunts Moonpig

--Better Bang the Gong ;)...so here goes...oinks Moonpig, picking up the short stick covered with a round, hard, leather-covered pad. It emits a peculiarly sonorous sound, its complex vibrations bursting into a wave-like succession of deep tones...BBBBOOOONNNNGGGG!!!

And pigs fall to ground with trotters over ears till Bonging fades away.

--Better leave these Veggies here as a GIFT like Guru lemur told us, oinks Pinky...who opens a backpack...& shakes out broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, kale, bok choy & cabbage. Whats left at the bottom of the bag are bits of half chewed veggies with Moonpig size teeth marks on and that will never do to give as a present !!!

On going through the open gateway we see... 2b continued...

Vision With A Mission ... part 11 of 14

Part 11 of 14

...but just then...Goat with Gaily Colored Coat disappears in puff of smoke !!! .......

Slicing through more jungle with Stanley knife as signpost pointed the way. Pinky & Moonpig stumble their way over tree roots...Thud! [a dull, heavy sound, such as that made by an object or...pig falling to the ground]. Stomp! [Moony treads heavily and noisily, typically in order to show anger at falling over tree roots]. Ouch! [sound used to express pain like "ouch I've trodden on a thistle"].

--Watchout where u treading...Moonpig swears...*^%@!$&*( < like that...quick...cover your ears).

Finally after beating around the bush...a Totem Pole,

Stone stairways lead down down down...

erm...make that a SACRED TOTEM  POLE comes into view. It's a Turtle with a Frog on its back and a Bird of non-description on top of frogs head...& beneath the turtle, a stone stairway or steps if you like :) leading DOWN.

--Is it going to be dark in there Moony ? >  Pinky points.

--Maybe ? Az u got any more candles & matches in those bags u carrying ? ...Pinky searches holdalls ;) (they still keep changing names the bags, knapsacks or what ever...2 avoid suspicion like before), & comes up with the goods.

Down a Deep Dark Dirty Dank Smelly Corridor or Passageway they go. As usual, Pinky is being protected by Moonpig hiding behind her butt [not skirt as pigs dont wear clothes]. The passageway twists, this way & that, then...they have to squeeze through a narrow or restricted space...a sound can be heard...[Ay ya, Ay ya Oh Ay ya, Ay ya Oh] It's the sound of the Demon Chanting to his ANCESTORS...There he is! Sitting in front of a small fire. Blackish smoke ascends from around him. [is he sitting too near the fire ?]

Ay ya Ay ya Oh....

--Remember not to look him in the face, oinks Pinky,...& Goat said you have to pross...pross...erm...bow down to him.

--Why shud i do that !! He aint nufin special...suddenly Moony trips over Pinky's trotter she just happened to stretch out.

--Oof ! Annoyance spreads over Moonys face but the Demon accepts it as Moonpigs way of showing humility & profound REVERENCE. Pinky is prostrate also. Moony notices the Demons CLOVEN HOOVES. Cud b the DEVIL 'imself...whispers Moonpig 2 Pinky friend. Pinky cringes but....

Pinky trips Moonpig over !

--Well i think he looks more like a...a Indian Witch Doctor, Pinky whispers back avoiding looking at his eyes.

The Devil err...erm Demon, breaks off from his Chanting, & his eyes...his eyes...dont look at his EYES. One of the bags fall off Pinky's back and opens. Flies, fly out buzzing around. Seeing us both Kowtow-ing Demon Devil jumps up, shouting. "Listen to the Voice of our Ancestors." Then he took his straight stick thing & shook it & uttered somat that was supposed to be in AID for...i do not know. On rising up on trotters moonpig speaks....

--Hi there Mr. Demon, erm...err...a gay Peruvian Goat sent uz 2 u...said u cud 'elp uz 2 find Special Bones of a Former Deceased Spiritual Leader...[all the while avoiding direct eye contact.] 

--Demon spoke...like Darth Vader, or like someone who had a very bad case of Asthma. He said...The bones you seek lie in the belly of a Crocodile who inhabits the River Huallaga.

--R-i-g-h-t ! grunts moony, erm, thx but how do we get them outa the croc's belly...&...can u describe this...erm, crocodile ?

--I can make a POTION...for a price. I want [sniffs the air] YOUR SOLES !!!

-- WAAAAAA! Pinky trembles & starts to cry...quietly...WAAAAA! i said QUIETLY...waaaaaa! thats better :)

Moonpig grudgingly trotters over [as pigs dont have hands] from the open bag, the one on the floor with the still buzzing flies flying around, the two Slightly Dusted Lemon Soles, past their sell by date & use by date :)

2 fish a cooking..flies buzz by.....

Demon skewers the Slightly Dusted Lemon Soles on to durable thin sticks & dangles them over the FIRE to cook. The flies that follow the fish gets INCINERATED !! While the fish are cooking the Demon makes up a POTION or TINCTURE [to make crocodile throw up bones much like Highly Concentrated Salt Water] while  calling out to someones ancestors...any ones :)  When the potion has been mixed, Demon hands it over to Moony who trotters it over to Pinky who puts it in the knapsack.

--Go back the way you came. Search around the floor for Moulted Crocodile Scales...these will lead you to the River Huallaga....the crocodile you seek, you will know because it makes......2 b cont.

Vision With A mission ... part 10 of 14

Part 10 of 14

...WHEN....a Weird Eerie Floaty Haunting sound can be heard, coming from above.

--Is it a monster ? whispered Pinky.

--Not sure but think u shud walk in front of me 4 protection, grunts Moonpig...pushing Pinky in front & using her as a shield.

As they climb higher, the sound gets louder & louder....tut! I said the sound gets LOUDER...thats better.

--What is it ? enquired Pinky, faltering & dragging one's trotters....Moonpig shoves Pinky forwards & round the bend. High on a jutting rock is the form of a Gay Peruvian Goat skipping about GAILY playing a musical instrument made from what appears to be cane pipes of different lengths tied

♪♫♫ Such...talent :) 

together...He was singing while playing instrument at the same time...listen to goat singing ... # High on a hill was a lonely goat heard, Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo, Loud was the voice of the lonely goat heard, Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo...Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee Odl lay odl lay odl lay !

--Them bin Pan Pipes them bin. Wondered wot they sounded like, oinked Moony....now stepping in front of Pinky....Climbs up to where goat is & says to Peruvian goat...Hi goat & salutations ! [gesturing with trotters] in a friendly way like :)

--Pinky oinks to goat...How do you play and sing at the same time Mr. Goat ?? [wrinkles snout in amazement].

--Salutations, maa'rd goat putting his pan pipe away, [where ever goats put things away ???]. We don't get many of you animals pass this way...[eyeing Pinky as is a bit strange color to goat they prefer Green, Blue or Red]. Goat replies to Pinky, Ah! Thats a trade secret...[taps his nose & winks his eye].

Moonpig relates to Peruvian Goat why he & Pinky friend happened on this path, beginning with the dream he had upon his bed of straw back on his farm, which seemed a very long time ago...[Blah blah blah ! thats a long story ;) ].

--Touch me Green Piggy & i will go into a Trance as i have a gift from a Spirit Presence. I can tell you what you need to complete your mission...for a small fee of course...Goat smiles :) (like that)

Ta-da !

--Erm i az...KADOEF...[which when translated means something like Bada-Bäng :) or Ta-da]...THIS! Pulls Tin Opener out of backpack.

--That will do nicely...um, what do you do with it ?? maa'rd goat. Eyeing it suspiciously.

--Well u erm...erm...errrrr...u tell him Pinky...pushes Pinky to the front.

--Pinky says, its a Magic Tool, [goats eyes light up] it will do all manner of things for you, like clear a path through the jungle or open a tin, or if you look real close you can see your face in it & you can clean and trim your hooves with it !!! ... Goat seems impressed...

--Goat says, so much from such a small tool...let me touch you there green pig [touch]...& Peruvian Goat falls into a TRANCE & begins his MANTRA, [ ;) means a Sacred Utterance, or group of words believed by some to have Psychological and Spiritual Power in  Sanskrit]. At last after many minutes, Goat comes out of his Trance...Ah, it just so happens, it has been revealed to me [your vision]. The 3rd & last thing you need is BONES !!! Special bones!!! Bones of a Former Deceased Spiritual Leader...Well that goes!

--Where am we supposed 2 get these from PRAY tell ? grunts Moony.

Catacoombs....Sounds like a scary place to visit !

--From the 2 Horned Demon deep in the CATACOOMBS beneath the Sacred Totem Pole. When you find him, PROSTATE yourselves don't look him straight in the eye. He will tell you what you need. It's that way [points] > (like that)

--Hmm not sure i con do that az i am Top Pig c...but i cud juz cast oneself face down on the ground in humility, which i POSSESS in abundance ;)...hey where's the Karzee round here, need 2 go ; )  but just

then......2 b continued

Vision With A Mission ... part 9 of 14

Part 9 of 14

...Knee-deep, knee-deep, went the noise...though i could be wrong :) Here is a sign that says...THE MARSH BOG & in little writing underneath says, watch out for PRIMEVAL GUNGE. Lets see where this path takes us. It's a little way out of the Path Of Enlightenment, but cant see az it will hurt ?

--Careful where you put your trotters, says...erm FROG, them bits am right Boggy, dont want you to get stuck...this said from frog on left with...is that a CAP on his head ???

Careful...It's boggy !!!

--Thats okay am partial 2 a bit of BOG...erm its probably only knee deep. (do pigs have knees? ) Moonpig surveys the Marsh Bog...How many are there of u, erm...frogs ?

--Our nature makes it impossible to live in a group of more than 25-30 of us,...Frog replies...if this happens before we...sort of EVOLVE, we tend to split into Sub Groups.

--So you stay here for now in this Gungy Marsh ?...it's like GOO...says Pinky poking a trotter into the Sticky, Messy Substance. GOD this SO Sticky !!!

--Frog croaks, Not exactly sure, but i crawled out from below, [points like that..v.. to bottom of Gooey Marsh] and i'm waiting for my WINGS to appear like his, [points like that...> over to the frogs with wings]. I Will sit here a bit longer see if anything Evolves ? [makes progress]

Freak of nature frog ???

--Evolves, you said that word before ??? oinks Pinky scratching her head as not still sure what frog means.

--Frog croaks up, Yup, you know like...come into being, come about, start, begin, be born, come into existence, appear, arrive, come forth, emerge, erupt, burst out, arise, originate, break, unfold, crop up, follow, happen, result, ensue, break out...

--Thats quite enuf...oinks Moony raising a trotter to quieten the frog....[all the time Knee-deep can be heard, echoing all around the marsh or the occassional, Rivit]. Pinky gets her mint out to suck, the one with a bit of fluff stuck to it.

--Whats that ? enquired frog, squinting at the strange object Pinky has in her trotters.

--Oh, just a little something i CREATED by myself :) then having a suck or 2, returns it to her skin-pocket.

--Yeah, i con b very kreative 2, specially when am in kitchen ;)  grunts Moony not 2 b out done.

--Frog smiles & croaks up, I am writing a BOOK, while avoiding Sorrow & Agony...points > to 2 frogs with those names...over the far side of the Marsh Bog.

2 frogs, one named Sorrow other is Agony 

--Yeah, grunts Moonpig, i con c u doing somat with that Pencil and Notepad & i con c that Sorrow & Agony would ruin ur...erm...CREATIVE writings. How do u rite a book ???

--I always start like this,[scribbles] i might even write music as i have tadpoles that would hang on the lines & look good...smiled the frog...but for now untill something DEVELOPES, i will carry on with my book. It's called, 'Care And Maintenance Of The Animal Homo Sapiens or Sapiens In Its Natural Environment. Have not decided on the exact title yet :)

Note: Left 'handed' frog is good writer, maybe.

--Uh-huh, & ur hopin' 2 b com wot, a...a...a HOMO SAPIEN ? oinks Moonpig.

--Maybe, & what do you think about my singing ? Come on Fellow Frogs, lets give them a chorus or 2...

And off frogs sing...listen...# Win Or Lose, Sink Or Swim, One Thing Is Certain We'll Never Give In, Side By Side, Hand In Hand, We All Stand Together...Knee-deep knee-deep! Well what do yer think ? for the first verse i mean, croaked frog.

  ♫♪ ♪ ♫♪♫  ♫♪ win or lose, sink or swim   ♫♪ ♪ ♫♪♫  ♫♪ 

--U can't carry a tune in a bucket...oinks Moony, removing his trotters from inside his ears.
Frogs don't like what they just heard as they think Moonpig is taking the Micky & making a joke at frogs expense, so up jumps the Frog named Arch-Angel Michael into Pinky's mouth. She croaky oinks to moony...

--HELP! i have a frog in my throat!!! & it's a mouthful too!!!...[runs round in circles!]

--Really !?! sure u not juz a Little Horse :) hang on....oinks Moony...so Moonpig grabs Pinky, gives a BIG slap on her back, which dislodges frog or knocks it out of place :) ...Come on Pinky grab me trotter & run wiv me back on 2 the Path Of Enlightenment...& oinky shouts 2 frogs...the name of ur book is a load of bull az u'll never make eet 2 Homo Sappy & ur singin' is a load of Bull Frog !!!!!

Frogs start to give chase. Hopping mad they were! But no match for 2 quick pigs who quickly retrace trotter steps back, [with pencil on tracing paper ;) ] till they reach the Path Of Enlightenment once again. And on a steady incline after a 2 mile walk, forest gives way to stoney path more open space now with steep walls of rock. Odd trees seem to be holding on for dear life, some stunted. The 2 pigs stop for a rest & Sustenance, just enough to keep body and SOUL together as without sustenance, creatures will die !!

--We'll never get there, oinky moaned Pinky, looking a bit down in the snout.

--Never get 2 where ? grunted Moonpig, equally looking down in the snout....WHEN.....2 b continued

Vision With A Mission ... part 8 of 14

Part 8 of 14

..the signpost points 3 ways...1 says to McDonalds, the 2nd to Enlightenment and the 3rd to points to Nirvana/Moksa (which gets mistaken by Moonpig for Nevada a state in the USA and Moscow..tut! ).
--Which way we gona go ? squeals Pinky friend.
--I dont know ? (Moony shrugs & wrinkles his snout ) but i doe like the look of that, points > to Nirvana/Moska sign, think that might be interchangeable & lead uz sum where down the line 2 JAIN, dont want 2 meet im or her ??? The aim of Jain iz non-violence, non-absolutism  and non-possessiveness but u can never tell. Might b a ploy or even a cunning plan or action designed 2 turn a situation 2 sum 1's own advantage 2 get uz 2 go down rung path !!! Then again it's 2 hot in the dessert & 2 cold in erm...well eet iz.
--Do what you did last time then, oinks Pinky.

# I am the bubble.........

--Erm, i'll Chant some words while Dancing in a Circle, com on Pinky copy me...# I am the bubble, make me the sea. Wave of the sea dissolve in the sea, I am the bubble, make me the sea.
Pinky friend copies moonpig dancing and singing.
--# I am the bubble, make me the sea. Wave of the sea dissolve in the sea, I am the bubble, make me the sea.
Moonpig & Pinky get dizzy, bump into each other & fall over. Both suffer, concussion...causing them both to become temporarily unconscious or CONFUSED. In this state Moony has an Out Of Podgy Body
Experience...IT says...take the Middle Path...trust in life itself.....The Road to Enlightenment is the Middle Path...Time passes...& pigs come 2, erm...that means they wake up.
--Well Moony, says Pinky rubbing her head...did anything come to you ?
--Yup, clear az mud...we gota take the Middle Path...not sure how but...Com on follow the middle path wiv me...u might b Enlightened.
-- Will it hurt ? 
--Nah! shudnt think so.
On the way and...the sky darkens! It begins to rain & rain &

Might be able to take shelter there !

pour down. Running for shelter under the trees, they spy a Woodcutters Cottage in a clearing. On a plank lying on the floor in the tall grass was carved out, ' Hansel and Gretel was here IDST '. So Moonpig knocked on the door. No answer. Pinky looked through the window. No one in sight although there was a large roaring electric fire in the fireplace.
--Try the handle Pinky, i'm right b-hind u. (& he was :) )
--Why me, muttered Pinky pulling a face & pouting, but opening the door anyway.
--We con stay here till the rain passes over, no 1 shud bother uz az iz well orf The Beaten Track...grunted Moonpig, looking for something to eat.
Meanwhile a tappin' came at the door tap tappity tap! Two creatures are patiently standing outside, neat lookin' too & nattering b-tween themselves. Even though it's raining they don't look like they will move on.
--Go & answer eet then Pinky !...Moonpig pushes friend to the door while he hides behind the settee.
After what seemed like FOREVER, (actually only 5 minutes) Pinky closes the door. 
--Who was it ? What did they want ?

Don't know who they were ?

--I don't really know but they gave me these...(shows Moony 2 MAGAZINES in her trotters).

--R i knows who they waz...seem 2 get everywhere, even if u went 2 the Moon suppose they wud knock on yer door there ! Moonpig wrinkles snout...rain has stopped. Better get on our way. On & on they trudge on & on past a Marsh Bog...hang on...what was that noise ? Lets go back & c wot that noise waz...2 b cont.....