Commissioner Day Special December 25th 2018

 Commissioner Day as come as per usual. What would happen this time ? No Hologram from the Great Green Leader this time...but as the Parsnip Harvest was bountiful, superabundant and inexhaustible...maybe all 3.  We see Moonpig making

This attracts a lot of interest !!

Parsnip Wine in one of his Refineries if you like...Yes thats right...Parsnip Wine and whats remarkable about that is...no one else on Myfreefarm grows parsnips !!! So I guess you could say that Moonpig holds the monopoly on this.

Taking a break, he pondered over a feeling of being stuck, cast away, abandoned on Earth...maybe all three :)

Tears came to his eyes as he thought of his Mama and Papa with his many siblings he had left behind on Planet Zork all those years ago. Six years and nine months now !!!

"Everything alright with you Moony, as I can see you look a little upset ?" oinked Pinky...Moonpig's bestest friend on Earth.

"Wot u agen. U pop up at the most inconvenient of times az i am real bee-zee. And no, am not upset...(wipes tears away with trotters) juz these parsnips am cutting up they...erm...make me eyes water" sniffed Moonpig.

"Think you'll find it's onions that do that" retorted Pinky

"Well...erm...err...parsnips do eet 2, 2 uz green pigs", came back the reply while tossing in the last of the boiled parsnips and other secret ingredients (lemons and oranges two other fruit no one else grows on MFF)then closing the lid tightly.

"What you making then ?"

Moonpig tuts! "Well iz a secret...musn't tell !!!"

"No no I wont tell, you can trust me...truly !!" squeals Pinky with Delight...or perhaps not as she was by herself :)

Moonpig whispers into Pinky friends ear,"I iz making...parsnip wine...which only i grow the ingredients 2...wont find any other parsnips etcetera on Myfreefarm 'cept ear...on me farm." Big grin spreads across Moony's face :D

"Oooo Ooooo, can I give you a trotter (not hand as pigs don't have hands). Pinky gives a broad smile similar to a grin :D

"Iz all in trotter fanks"...Pinky looks dejected..."but u con 'elp urself 2 biskits." Points to biscuits that just happen to be there.

"Goody goody, jammie dodgers...my favorit" (American way of spelling). Pinky, now tiring a little, watches as Moonpig reopens the Refinery if you like and drops in the previously activated yeast, which he did in his laboratory in the backroom of his farmhouse giving it a stir with a BIG wooden spoon made with wood cut down from his own forest. A few hours pass. The Refinery bubbles laboriously away, in a way that takes considerable time and effort... along with another secret ingredient also made in...yes you guessed it so will not say it...that SPEEDS things quite considerably along !!!

Looks the job wiv these labels :)

"U con 'elp wiv the bottling if u juz trotter over there" > (points to the stack of ultra squeaky clean glass bottles). "Pinky...Pinky...where iz u ??? Moonpig sighs! "u juz cant get the help wen u need eet !"

This is because Pinky, getting bored trots over to Mootown to see who's about and quite a lot of farmies and pigs (probably bored too) walk about aimlessly :) Pinky boasts to all who will bend an ear about the Fantastic Parsnip Wine that Moony's making...all decide that it just might be a good idea to follow this up as it could be...FAKE news.

Meanwhile...Moonpig glues on labels that he had printed that read ' Commission Day Special ' in commemoration of his home planet Leader there. Looking across his farm, Moony could see a trail of...bodies...approaching his farm.

"Good, juz wot i fort mite happen." oinks Moonpig.

The Parsnip Wine is stacked up with a hefty 80% mark up price to what it should cost...well, all will pay ANY amount at this silly time of the year and will still be paying it off when next Commissioner Day comes round next December the 25th !!!

All the Parsnip Wine sells out and Pinky squirms up to Moonpig, "Hope you didn't mind but I couldn't help myself telling all and sundry about your good PARSNIP WINE you were making." whinged Pinky.

Moonpig slaps Pinky on the back in a friendly manner, "Not at all me friend,(really this is what Moony wanted Pinky to do) not at all. But how do you know iz good parsnip wine ?"

"You always make the best of everything" plauded Pinky

"Az eet happens i az kept a case full back...cum and sample sum wiv me " Moony oinks forming his features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

Sweet Dreams !!

Off they trot at SPEED...the resulting episode...the two friends get very drunk even sozzled!!! Eventually falling asleep on the nice erm...soft floor. Think Moonpigs cat named erm...Kat, licked the bottles out too :) ....THE END 

Lost Wallet ... part 6 of 6

Part 6 of 6

You can just about spot Pinky running on top right !!!

Kat can see with her 3rd eye so to speak. Kat can see Pinky from a very very very long way off ! All Kats from the planet Zork has this ability to some degree or other it just takes practise :)

"Woz that u say ?...Pinky's getting in 2 her car...& following uz !! Dont want 2 b bothered by Pinky friend 2 day, av enuf problems of me own !!!"  screeched Moonpig or maybe gave a loud, harsh, & piercing cry (and thats a hard thing for a pig to do). So Moonpig takes loads of detours so as Pinky wont know which way they took !!! ( so there !! ) After an hour or 2 of going everywhere, through the country WHIZZZZZ! (erm noise of countryside whizzing by), next over mountain passes WOOAMM! (noise of erm Pearl's engine going real erm fast past, up & by mountains) SCREECH! SCRRREEEEECH! (Pearl meanders all over the narrow mountain pass...road well it passes for a...road). 

"Wow look at the drop on sides of the road Kat..."(if you dare!), et cetera and then through Mootown a few times.... WHOOOOSH! WOOAMM! WHIZZZZZ!...Finally....

Can just about see them on mountain road

"Fink eets safe 2 go home now Kat...my, y az u got ur eyes closed. Ham u tired ? Take ur paws away from ur eyes. U wont c a thing like that."

Kat peeps through her paws then takes her paws away and looks at Moony @@ like that accusingly!!!

...Back at Moonpig's farmhouse...

"O no...look who's waiting !" oinks Moony :(

Kat jumps out from Pearl in case Moony has plans to take off & repeat his last...erm...err...trip ?

"Where have you been...i've been looking for you" exclaims Pinky all excited. "look what i found on the market floor", :) and with that holds up Moonpigs lost wallet announcing..."Ta-dar!" (an imitation of a fanfare, typically used to indicate an impressive entrance or a dramatic announcement).

This belong to you ?

"Wow...i mean Woohoo! "(punches the air with trotters...Kat slinks away just in case she comes a cropper)..."Wow." oinks a grateful, appreciative or thankful Moonpig...maybe all 3 :) ...checking inside to make sure everything is there. "Come in and i'll make u a piggin' meal :)"

"Err...well thats very kind of you but i have to be somewhere...have to take a rain check on that bye" oinks Pinky rushing away remembering what happened last time she stayed for some of Moonpigs cooking *.

"Pleez urself...looks like juz u & me Kat :( "  and kat rubs enthusiastically in a way that shows intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval maybe all erm, lots...round Moonys legs...for food that is :)     The End

* See stories Home cooking (6th-27th July 2014) and Supper (3rd December-10th January 2013/2014)

Lost Wallet ... part 5 of 6

Part 5 of 6

"No, I haven't seen it. Have a look on the floor where you stood. If it fell, it may of got kicked under something."

Moonpig, Kat and stallholder take a look around and find...nothing.

Next we ask the pet stall pig if she had seen me

Not seen anything of that description...oinks pet stall pig.

wallet...describing in detail wot eet looked like..."mostly black" says I.

She oinks "No i haven't seen anything of that description...mostly black...& no one has trottered (like handed but as pigs don't have hands...) anything of that description in to me. Why don't you go and ask the Pig Manager who's overseeing the market today (points). He's over there, if anything has been trottered in he'll be the one to ask :) "

So Moonpig with Kat in tow trots over to the Pig Manager.

"S'cuse me but i lost me wallet wiv a load of credit cards in & woz told 2 ask u if somat like that az been trottered in 2 u ? " , sniffles Moony wiping his snout with trotters.

"You mean a small mostly black wallet ? About this big by this big (holds out trotters to show size).

"Yeah-yeah, thaz rite about this size by this size (holds out trotters to show size) :)

....iz about this big by this big....

"No...no ones trottered anything to me of that description, sorry."

"Ah well, suppose that iz that." (scratches butt) " Perhaps I dropped eet in car park ? Let's go & av another look Kat ." 

....Searching high & low....

"Don't look now Kat but Pinky iz waving at uz."

Kat looks @@ (like that).

"Kwik back in car." & off they go at break neck speed...that's a little slower than last time.

"Meow per prow prow, Meow per prow prow" mews Kat.

"Woz that u say Kat...u fink Pinky woz pointing at somat. Somat in her trotter ? "

"Prow puuurrrr meow meeooww! " mews Kat.....2 b continued

Lost Wallet ... part 4 of 6

Part 4 of 6

The stall holder wraps up the elephant bookends in bubble wrap.

1 of them :)

"I'Il av 1 of those anall" (points to owl wind chime...it has a bell on the bottom). Moonpig goes through the ritual with the credit card again, this time picking one he hasn't used before. The deal is done.

As Moonpig places his purchases into a bag & his credit cards into his wallet Moony stoops down to peel Kat off his leg who is desperately still pointing to the cat shaped bookends.

"No Kat we got e-l-e-p-h-a-n-t-s."

Kat wails "Meoww Meooooowwww!" & jumps on Moony's shoulder, chewing his ear !

"Flaming Kat" squeals Moony, get orf me neck...NOW "

Kat goes into pout mode. Finally both walk past the next stall when....

"Ooh look ! Kat, Kat biskits ! " oinks Moony.

Seems there is an array of marvellous food stuffs for all your pets requirements...& more here.

"U wont sum nice bikkies Kat ?" 

"i'll take sum of them...there !"

Kats eyes light up @@ (like that) and Moonpig fumbles in his skin pocket for loose change az iz not worth using a credit card for so little an amount of pd (really?). Kat jumps up and down as if on springs around Moony bumping into him several times with claws extracted. Moonpig protects his 'nether region's recalling how things went or not so went, last time Kat did this to him :(

At last Moony and Kat get into Pearl,(Moonpig's 3 wheeler car, it's green and wedge or rocket shaped). Kat waves a paw to Pinky who is still perusing the market stalls. And Moony, heads off home at Vivacissimo speed– that's very fast and lively around 172–176 beats per minute in musical terms. Smoke billowing out of the exhaust, Wow ! GREAT, and into the distant Pearl zooms at about, oh, inter-space speed I reckon ??? something like...warp 11 !!!

Once home, shopping is unloaded and put away. Spidey looks pleased when the Rice Krispie box goes on the shelf  :)

Kat looks pleased when milk goes on the shelf...except for the almost empty carton which gets placed in the fridge. Kat looks on in a grumpy face sort of way. Moony looks pleased when he places the bookends in the shape of elephants on a shelf, putting a few books between them & grinning from ear to ear  :)

Moonpig sits down, "Now where iz them credit cards wot woz maxed out ? " Digs around in skin pocket. "Must be here somewhere ?? " Hey Kat, u been in me pocket ???"

Moonpig turns out his skin pocket !

"Prow purrr prow prow ! " says Kat, shaking head vigorously. 

Moonpig in disbelief turns his skin pocket inside out...out falls all the things he had collected from various places well nearly all :)  A spider leg on a chain, a rusty key, plasma torch, photo of Mama and Papa, an evil eye and various other...useful things or maybe...not ???

"Must of dropped eet round market...let's go & look 4 eet Kat. "

Back at the market stall where Moony used the credit cards last,"Hi, remember me ? Well i fink i dropped me wallet around ear somewhere...av u found eet ? "....2 b continued....

Lost Wallet ... part 3 of 6

Part 3 of 6

 Kat is sitting in shopping cart where the items are now off the belt & back in the shopping cart ready to be packed into Moony's shopping bags. Kat is sampling some of the groceries therein after slyly putting a 'stray' claw into the milk carton. 

"Hmm, wonder how that happened."(points to Kat lapping the milk)

Shop assistant gives an audible sigh telling Moony to remove his card. Moony puts the credit card back into his wallet & the wallet safely goes back into his skin pocket.

Pinky is right behind Moonpig but as she is too young for a credit card, pays with pd (coinage used on Myfreefarm).

After both groaning about the farms where they all get paid a pittance for their products and earn nothing and struggle they both go their seperate ways.

"This bag wud b a bit ee-zee-er 2 carry if u wud get out & walk Kat !!! " groaned Moony, his arms seeming to grow longer.

Kat points with a paw tomarket

Putting the groceries into Pearl...Moony scratches butt. Kat gets Moonpigs attention by biting his tail.

"Hey, stop that ham most of a delicate nature there !!! Wot u want now ?" Kat points to outdoor market set up on the square & clawing at Moonpigs leg, urges him to walk that way...towards the market.

"K, i got ur point in more ways than 1 (rubs sore skin)."

"Hi Moony," oinks Pinky..."fancy seeing you here :) "

Moonpig scowls ^>@<^ (<like that).

"Seems u following me around." grumbles Moony.

"No I'm not ! " & Pinky looks indignant as indignant can be...even irritated.

With that they go opposite ways to each other...for now :)

After buying strawberries, cakes & a garlic crusher (shrugs shoulders...beats me too), Moonpigs attention is drawn to a stall selling all kinds of carved wooden things besides an array of wind chimes. Kat seems to of been drawn to it too ! Kat excitedly, enthusiastically, and eagerly...points to bookends in

Hmm! Bookends..interesting....

the shape of cats while clawing Moonpig in his skin just missing his 'nether regions'..."OUCH! "...equally excited, very very enthusiastic and much much more eager, Moonpig points to bookends in the shape of...elephants and whacks Kat one with his trotter.

Moonpig picks up one of the elephant bookends and reminisces....

"This (swaying elephant to & fro in trotters) reminds me of somat." grunts Moony.

"Remember the time we rode on an elephant in Peru ? " ponders Pinky.

Moonpig turns around sharply.

"O, u agen...well az a matter of fact i do. I woz juz finking that these (points to elephant bookends) wud b a very good reminder of eet".

Moonpig trotters over (as pigs dont have hands) a credit card to pay with...punches the number in.

Lez try this, or this, or this ... ?

"Sorry sir, but seems your card as been declined", remarks the stall holder.

"Erm...Well lez try this 1... or this 1... or this 1" grunts Moonpig eventually one card is accepted, "Seems ham maxed out on them others", Moony smiles most apologetically :) (like that believe it or not)......... 2 b continued......

Lost Wallet ... part 2 of 6

Part 2 of 6

Inside 'Tramlaw' name of supermarket, Moonpig takes out his shopping list & notices an alteration, adjustment, or  modification or all 3...maybe, to milk count.

"Who's put an Xtra nought on this ? (shakes head & points to shopping list). Should say 10 milk not 100 !!! "

Hmmm! As u been at me shopping list Kat ?

Moony looks at Kat and Kat looks at Moony. It's a stare out !! Eventually after 30 seconds Kat gives up & plonks 10 milk into the shopping cart watched cautiously by Moonpig !!!

"Glad u did that Kat...(turns to shelf), now wot cereal shall we take home for Spidey ?"

Being a bit dewy eyed at hearing the word...HOME...Moonpig blows his snout on Kats fur...Kat bristles...but as she knows that Moonpig is thinking of his home planet...Zork...withdraws her claws from Moony's tail & instantly forgives him. Kat washes the snot off her fur the way kats do. Continuing along cereal aisle, picking up & putting down various cereals for Kat's approval, Kat nods her head emphatically at the Rice Krispie box.

Kat helps pushing the shopping cart

"K, so if Spidey dow like 'em ur in 4 eet Kat." oinky grunts Moony.

Kat rolls eyes @@ & licks paws unperturbed.

"Now 4 the veggie & fruit aisle - Ouch ! *@%**& ! " (< unprintable erm word) Moony looks round to see who has bumped into his piggin' leg while scowling ^>@<^ (< like that).

"So sorry." oinks Pinky friend.

"Hummpf ! Mite az well known eet wud b u."grunts Moonpig wrinkling his snout.

"What you doing here ?" asks Pinky in a soothing...erm oink.

"Woz eet look like 2 u ?" growled Moony (& thats hard for a pig to do ! )

"Shopping ? " came back a squealy non-committal quiet voice.

"Wow ! But ur sooooo clever." & with that Moony picks up more groceries & makes his way to the checkout...Kat in tow.

Get orf the piggin' belt Kat !!!!

Dumping groceries on belt, & continually removing Kat from belt with shop assistant frowning....

"That will be 639.17 pd." (pd is the name of the money used in Myfreefarm) "How would you like to pay ? "yawns the shop assistant.

"I dow wont 2 buy the hole piggin' shop, juz a few fings," grumbles Moonpig taking out his wallet with credit cards to pay..."& b 4 u ask, NO i dont want any cash back !!! "....2 b continued.....

Lost Wallet ... part 1 of 6

Part 1 of 6

I juz new i woz getting short of supplies corz me pantry spider woz freatening 2 leave...agen. So after brekkie i decided 2 take stock of pantry 2 c juz wot woz needed.
Hmm, (sighs) not a lot in there iz there Spidey ? (that's the name i 'ad given him, took me a hole day 2 com up wiv appropriate name) Wot con i bring u back from the shops ? I smile :) (< like that) placating like :)
Spidey slid down in double quick slide from his web and pointed with his l-o-n-g spindley legs to a cereal box on the shelf next to the few crumbs of biskits scattered about.

Hmmm! not a lot iz there spidey !!

I picked the box up & gave eet a good shake. Nufin much happened. I deduced that the box woz almost M.T. (translation = empty).
"K, i'll put that on me list. Az the weather looked foreboding or a feeling of gloom or maybe a sixth sense that that black cloud cud burst at anytime, fort i wud ride in Pearl, me 3 wheeler car. Did i ever tell u that a 3 wheeler az less drag so eet con go faster than a normal 4 wheeler. My car Pearl is wedge or rocket shaped and a beautiful green color and eet goes like a bomb. Erm...on 2nd forts eet sounds like a bomb & all this smoke comes from eet. Great eh!"
Kat rubbed up moonpigs legs and eyed him up @@ (< like that).
"U wont 2 com 2 Kat ?"
"Meow prow purrrrr." (Jumps up and down).
"K but u muz not sit on me lap & make dough...^>@<^ (thats a frown) U gota sit on ur own seat !!! "
After making a shopping list wiv the help of Kat & Spidey,

Pearl's running nice...aint she Kat !!

Moony flung, hurled or lobbed maybe all 3, shopping bags into Pearl and after repeatedly pushing Kat off lap, hot wired Pearl with the 2 wires hanging down from dashboard....Splutter splutter! Bang Bang! & car springs into life.

Putting trotters on the pedal and pushing right down to the metal that is & stepping on the gas (gas made of mostly forage beet juice, Moonys secret recipe) Zooooms away like a...like a rocket....2 b continued....

A Winters Tale ... part 5 of 5

Part 5 of 5 

 Moonpig disappears into the pantry and comes out eventually with crumbs on his snout :) and a pot of sun dried termites, a can of worms, a few cobs split in half (the wrong way) and butter. Moonpig takes his trusty Stanley knife outa the draw.

"I'm a devil in the kitchen wiv a Stanley knife."...(tosses up knife showing off). Pinky hides under the table with Kat..."Oinky oinky oink !" laughs Moonpig...but fails to catch knife...the knife stabs the table...Thud, boing! ...Time passes..."K so who's 4 a cob then ? Oh! ear's a fish 4 u Kat.".

Moony takes fish from outa his skin pocket and dangles it in front of Kat.

Kat Loves fish !

Kat obligingly snaps her jaws round the fish and drags it off to eat.

Finally all have full tummys and all go back for a warm and Moonpig continues his...exciting tale of what Zork is like...well what it was like before he got duped into searching the universe for a fuel source for the UFO's on Zork.

"We az a place where we con chill out called 'The Pleasure

Above, spells Pleasure Dome :)

Dome'....we do lots of fings in there...infact we con do wot ever we wants. We az massage parlour, gym...but i az no need 4 gym :) ...ice cream parlour, drone drone (goes on a bit, well quite a lot). We az a park for ball games etc., we az a Zoo, Space Academy wiv state of the art Observatory, Laboratory, Skool and shops, all the usual fings u nowst...yatter yatter prattle prattle( goes on a lot more)".

And Kat settles on Moony's lap and...makes dough :) 

Moonpig still carries on a.."blah blah blah !".

TILL...zzzzZZZzzzz can be heard once again!...seems Pinky has fallen asleep...again!

"Wake up Pinky friend...ham i boring u ? "

 Pinky wakes up with a START and decides to put it in her skin pocket again and now has 2 :)

"Oh, very interesting...i was just resting my eyes :) Is it time for me to go ? "

"No me friend, snow iz deep & crisp even...better stay the nite :) "

"That's...kind of you Moony :) "

"Yeah i know....I'll make u a bed up next 2 mine of straw, erm...hang on...i'll make u 1 here...don't want 2 be disturbed even or av me normal pattern or functioning disrupted wiv ur snoring !!!"

"But I dont snore...it's you !!!" Pinky pleaded...getting a bit emotional (and chin wobbled)

"Well erm, (mutters somat unintelligible, indistinct or meaningless...maybe all three !!! )...It's warmer here...by the fire."

Nite Kat...Nite Pinky...Nite Spidey :)

"Oh, well...okay then."

"Yup much better wiv u sleeping ear (wrong spelling but who cares)...come along then...see u in the morning :) "

"Night Moony."

"Yeah, nite Pinky."

....the end

A Winters Tale ... part 4 of 5

Part 4 of 5

 Was Pinky listening ???

"Hmmm! (Moony gives doubtful look)...Billions of years in the past, so Papa tells me, things were different on Zork. BTW (by the way) Zork iz called The Green Planet, az all uz pigs r green :) about 8 million of uz infack at last count."

"Wonder if he was there in the big bang then ? Your  Papa i mean :) "...oinks Pinky friend, carefully pondering, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.

Moonpig continues his tale (Kat jumps down from Moony's shoulder...just in case).

Twin Planets colided !!!

"The twin yellow planets that now encircle each other in Zork's expanse, well they collided & cracked & woz frown in2 Kay-hoss...(Moony makes circling motions with trotters & bangs them together while Kat slinks off to avoid getting hit ! )...Seems that the property of a complex system whose behaviour is so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions, corz'd eet !!! ;) "

Pinky looks as if...as if...well she just looks ^O@O^ (like that)

"Go on, go on! "oinks Pinky, "it's all so..so..so, intriguing...fascinating infact Moony (yawn).

Wow !!! ... the snow iz piling up outside me door !!!

"Oh, ham i keeping u ? "...Moonpig opens the door to let Pinky go home but...has to jump up to see past the pile of SNOW (some snow falls into the farmhouse)..."Hey iz really snowing hard...u want 2 go out in this weather ??? Must b mad !!! ".Kicks fallen snow from inside farm house and closes back outside the door.

"No no, i can stay a bit longer...please do go on with your tale, it's so..."

"Captivating, absorbing, interesting, enchanting, beguiling, bewitching, enthralling, enrapturing, entrancing, spellbinding, transfixing, riveting, mesmerizing, hypnotizing, engaging, compelling, compulsive, gripping, thrilling"...rattles off

Moonpig.

"No i was not going to say any of those...intriguing... was what i was thinking" (Crosses her trotters behind back), "I see you have been eating your Dick&Harry again." Pinky squealy snorty grunts sniggers and all that :)

Moonpig spits out bits of paper from snouty mouth :) and scowls ^>@<^ (like that).

Pufft! (spits out paper)

"Meow Meow Meoooowww ! " mews Kat.

"U hungry Kat ? (looks at Kat). Erm i fink she's hungry. Come 2 fink of eet, i'm a bit peckish 2. U want somat 2 eat az well Pinky ? U c...i az a medical condition that makes me wont 2 eat :) "

"Well if it's no trouble."

And with that Pinky runs and plonks herself at kitchen table.... 2 b cont.

A Winters Tale ... part 3 of 5

Part 3 of  5

 Moonpig ever the perfect pigtess or hostess to you and me :) continues to oink...

"Erm...wish u wud make ur mind up erm....u want a Bucks Fizz ? Erm...hang on, wot ham i finking of...u aint old enuf 4 alcohol ! Better stick 2 vimto or ginger beer, which u want ? Cum on make ur mind up !!" (anyone notice the hint of a song ? )

"Mutter mutter"...mumbles Pinky...shooing away Kat, trying to stop Kat from licking the ketchup off her pink piggy body...while trying to look as if she couldn't care less.

Keep ur claws 2 urself Kat !!!

Eventually, Pinky gets cleaned up and Moonpig trotters over (pigs don't have hands as such) a 2nd bottle of ketchup for Pinky to put it on herself...(lol...ground hog day :D ).

When all eaten and drunk to content...Pinky presses Moonpig to tell about life on Zork...(not Mars).

"Is there much life on Zork ? "she oinks!

Kat settles on Moony's lap & makes dough (kneads with paws and dribbles! ). Moonpig frowns ^>@<^

"Well, az u know, or knot, we az a Central Square where the Commissioner of our planet sum-times calls a meeting. The Twin Domed Metropolitan building lies in the background & iz almost c-thru like erm...transparent, with a lift going rite up 2 the top 2. Taz a private garden thingy at zenith." At this point Moony stands as tall as he can with trotters in the air showing how far away bottom floor is from top floor inadvertently & without intention, throws Kat off lap....

"Yowl Yowl Oowl Owwwwl ! "...yowled Kat making  protest noises !

"Opps soz kat, 4 got u were there :) ". Mooonpig continues his winter's tale taking a look through the window, & Kat climbs up on Moony's shoulder to look too :) the snow is falling thick and fast !

All file into work :)

"Erm...i'll continue...now where woz i ? (scratches butt). Ah, his Serfs work on ground floor, our Great Commissioner works in the offices (or sew he tells uz) on the 2nd floor and...he dwells there. The garden at the top iz where our Great Commissioner ponders or so he grunts. Purple trees & bushes grow around the square...and the expanse or sky u mite oink iz a mixture of blues like ear but we dow av clouds. U listening Ima ? "

Moony pinches Pinky's snout 2 gether. She wriggles and...

"Snort! zzzzzZZZZzzzz snort!"...Pinky wakes up with a START and decides to put it in her skin pocket :) "Yes go on. I am so...erm, fasinated to learn of these things :) go on, go on, i'm listening"...(yawns)...2 b cont.

A Winters Tale ... part 2 of 5

Part 2 of 5

 It's Pinky, knocking at Moonpigs door.

"Hey Moony, let me in it's piggin' cold out here !2 Erkkkk! (noise of door opening).

"Come inside me friend & make urself warm by me fire :) How cum u out so L8 ? How cum u didn't stay home ? "

"The bells, i heard the bells...and i thought of you...thought you would like a little company :) Besides i'm right out of firewood and it's icy blasting cold without a fire."

"Well u shud try closing ur door then !"

"Never thought of that. You are so wise Moony :) " Pinky's eyes look on lovingly at...at someone or something :)

"I az sum potatoes in pantry...i'll juz rap-em up in foil & stick 'em in the fire 2 cook...i'll go fetch...wont b a minute."

Oooo strange cat !

"Oooo you have company...What a strange looking...cat ? "

Moongpig comes back and puts potatoes in the fire to cook thus saving gas.

"What's that u say ? A strange looking Kat ?? Where ??? "

Pinky points to strange looking cat > (like that) :)

Moonpig frowns ^>@<^ (like that) & grunty oinks, "Kats r like this on Zork, all same in appearance more or less,  wiv triangular ears, soft fluffy coat of varying colors, with pale streaks, of varying colors, and blue teeth, eyes and tongue so wots the matter wiv her" > (points to cat).

"Nothing at all, nothing at all," gulps Pinky, "What's her name ? "

N-n-n-nice cat.....

Pinky cautiously strokes cat in a way that deliberately avoids potential problems or unwarranted dangers real or imagined

"Kat." oinks Moonpig.

"Well...that's a nice name"(looks amused).

"Yep, i fort of eet all by meself :) sniff sniff...potatoes ham done. Lets eat :) :) i az sum butter or flora and sum cheese and a dollop of ketchup...(adds a large mass casually and without measuring to his jacket potato)...made eet in me own kitchen...want sum ? "

"Erm...mind if i put it on meself Moony ? "

Bloop bloop bloop !!!

K, go rite ahead...but don't think will improve ur looks." Bloop! bloop! splodge! (shakes bottle of ketchup all over Pinky) "There...well u did ask 4 eet :) "

Pinky's chin begins to wobble, a sure sign of...tears to follow...however...

"Didn't mean it like that," squealy grunty sobs Pinky....Ketchup dripping from her piggy body...2 b cont.

A Winters Tale ... part 1 of 5

Part 1 of 5

"Time 2 go home Pinky friend me finks az Barpig iz frowning at uz...better drink up the hour iz gone & got L8."
Moonpig is drinking his usual...a Lager...while Pinky is sucking up ginger beer through a straw...ssslurp! Slurrp!

Our trepid friends come out The Cock And Hen pub

Outside the local pub in Mootown, called 'The Cock And Hen'...we visualize a mental image of Pinky and Moony supporting erm...each other from falling over as it's rather slippy...even more so after a pint or two.  
And...ever the faithful friend, Pinky sees Moonpig safely home to his farmhouse as Moony told Pinky 'thats wot friends do'. Pinky trots briskly in a cold but pleasantly invigorating way, off through the snow after waving a goodbye to Moony.
So now Moonpig is all alone.
He shivers, gingerly turns, and goes inside his farmhouse.
"The nights are colder now maybe I should close the door & light a fire, and anyway the snow az covered all friends piggin' footsteps so az i cant follow 2 make sure she gets home safe even if i wanted 2 which...i dont...coz it's...COLD :) " 
Moonpig lights the fire. Moonpig continues...
"The fire burns brightly & at night me memories of Zork cum flooding back...sniff! i iz warm but everybody noze iz hard 2 b alone at this time of year. Iz only a winter's story or tale i tell so why should the Earth take notice of 1 more of me attempts that's failed to get thru 2 Zork...me home Planet ? "
And after tinkering about at various control panels in UFO & not having much luck at contacting Zork, except to somehow beam down a Kat..."Hmm, last time only managed to get the tail beamed down & eet rotted away :( "
Kat rubs round Moony's legs...purring away...prrrrr prrrr prrrrrr! 

He He !! That tickles !!

"On a world wide scale infact on a universe's scale I stand alone...well eet seems like eet :(  x-cept 4 Kat."
Strokes Kat & tickles under her chin :) 
"I ear, (wrong Earth word but who cares ? ) bells, ringing far away & i wonder if Pinky ears eet ?, i wonder if u r listening my friend i wonder where u r ? U mean a lot 2 me & I wish u well...sniffle sniff ! "
Fills saucer of milk and places it on floor.
Kat rushes up & starts to lap the milk..."ssslurp ssslap ssslurp!"
Just then a knock comes at Moonys' door...Knock knock ! .....2 b cont.