Know Your Enemy ... part 2 of 3

Part 2 of 3

Moonpig got out a notepad and a pencil (so he can rub out mistakes in spelling ;) ) He starts to scribble away making...notes. Title at top of note pad reads...ENEMY

PROFILE. Underneath he writes...SLUG: 0-6 inches long (0-15cm). Keeping in a neat descending line he continues to write, SPEED: 0.007mph (0.0113 kmph). REPRODUCTION: over 100 eggs per year. LIFESPAN: 2-7 years. HABITAT: Dark, moist shelters wiv a constant supply of tasty plants. HABITS: Destroying plants, leaving slime trails and eating worms, and worse, dead slugs. WEAPONS: Ability 2 camouflage and attack under darkness, an unsatiable appetite az can eat eet's own body weight in a day and az 27,000 teeth. LIKES:Beer, grapefruit rind and cabbage. DISLIKES: Salt. ENEMIES:Birds, frogs and badgers. PREY:Succulent green leaves (particularly delphiniums and hostas but not fussy) and av a penchant, fondness, or passion (all 3 if u like) 4 skins of citrus fruit where they gather 2gether underneath them so u can collect them all up and dispose of them az u c fit.
"But snails are really interesting!" protests Pinky looking glum."They are hermaphrodites and some can even live up to 25 years Moony...and they must find a snail partner to mate with."
"Not on my patch they can't." Grunted Moony "Any roads, me meself am partial 2 a slug or 2" Drools at thought!!!
"But you can't eat my pets! They belong to me and...and...[Pinky sniffs and her chin begins to wobble a sure sign that tears will follow].
"Just keep them in their vivarian and there will b no problem."sighs Moonpig...then drools!
Pinky follows Moonpig outside. He has something in his trotter which Pinky can't quite make out ? It seems like leftovers from his breakfast drink. So....
"What's that you got Moony and what you doing with it ?"

Slug holiday camp ?

"Iz a grapefruit skin Pinky. I ad eet for breakfast and cut the peel in half C ? Now i'll make sum small holes in 'em and make 'em look like play houses for gastropods." Moony places the two halves on the soil nearby to where some juicy lettuce leaves are attempting, aiming, endeavouring...maybe all three' to grow :)
"That looks very inviting Moony" and Pinky claps her trotters in delight!
"Yeah, and in the next 2 days we go and turn the peels over where the slugs av huddled 2gether enjoying the erm...juice woz left in 'em then we collect up the slugs...and dispose of 'em and we con either make a slug smoothie or hang 'em ot 2 dry by pegging 'em on the washing line we use 4 drying curtains or cushions...definitely, unmistakably or undeniably, all 3 maybe az no clothes are worn by uz pigs, says so in rule number 3 in me Animal Farm rule book !!!
"Then what ?" Pinky trembled!!!

Hang 'em high 

"Then we watch az they wriggle and sway gently in the warm breeze and dry out and die in the sun...then eat 'em" grunts Moonpig.
"That's cruel." blubbered Pinky snivelling and wiping her snout with her trotter.
"Look...u eats plums, yeah ? Well u eats dried plums and call 'em prunes...same fing ain't eet ! Sow, woz ur problem ???"

....2 b cont.