Nimbus XIII ... part 4 of 6

Part 4 of 6

...A Vacancy sign is in the next shop... it reads...job-vacancies - idiots wanted...

Any color u says ...erm...

--Doesnt fit our description, oinks Moony with a immense stupidity seeping slowly over snouty face...moving Allegro style now...(thats fast and brisk :) ). Lets c wot they got in the electrical shop. Rrrrr this...points > this iz the latetest Nutri-Malik-Drinks Synthesizer, must get me 1 of those. Wot color do u do 'em in ? i asks the alien sales creature...checking i still az me I.G.T. switched on...(for those who may have forgotten...Instant Galatic Translater)...
-- You can have pink, green, purple, orange & um, well...just about any color you wish.
--Great, i'll av black.
--Sorry mate...we dont do black.
--Sigh ! K, so juz give me erm, that 1 > points. 
--What does it do Moony ? I mean...how does it work ?
--W-e-l-l, eet con make any drink u want...but...it con even sense wot drink iz most suited 2 u :) & thats the 1 u'll get...most of the time :) Just have 2 plug it in, & talk 2 eet...say anything u want like...make-me a drink...then it gives u a drink c !
--Oh, i think i get it ??? Friend scratches head...again...must have fleas ?...so shopping is finished!!!
-- Soooo, lets pay at the checkout. How much pd did u bring ? (pd is potato dollars we use on MFF = Myfreefarm ). Friend puts trotters in2 skin-pocket turns it inside out & out pops a half sucked mint with fluff on...hmmm! doesnt seem 2 b owt else. Moonpig frowns ^>@<^ (like that). 
Seems I'll b buying those fluffy biros 4 u...Gets credit card outa skin-pocket...proceeds 2 the checkout...U take American Express ? Or i az this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this ?  :) (unravels a few more credit cards). Moony turns 2 friend, says...Dont worry Pinky friend...u con pay me back L8r !

Erm...which card u accept....?

--That will do nicely says alien till being, swiping card thru thingy...which is then 'handed' back 2 Moonpig. I smile at him, her, it ??? & the purr-chase iz made.
--I'm hungry says friend...If u pay, i can pay u back L8r, right ? Hopeful look on face of friend.
--Hmm, i suppoze, infakt am piggin hungry 2. Lets go & find a small cafe by a wishing well or a place 2 sit & eat.

--Now you're oinking...says friend skipping along, leaving Moonpig 2 arrange 2 send his purchases 2 his UFO....2 b  cont....

Nimbus XIII ... part 3 of 6

Part 3 of 6

...A welcoming committee greets the pigs...but alas all is intelligible.

me Instant-Galactic-Translator

-- We shall need this says Moonpig pulling an instrument out of his skin-pocket. Its a I.G.T...thats an Instant-Galactic-Translator, (see stories ...Planet 4saken and Nav-oo-r4). Moonpig switches it on &...

--This is, Nimbus XIII, alien said, Welcome to our friendly planet. Please make use of our shopping mall, thru that door there > (it's about 2 mile away but they are x-treamly long sighted) We hope you enjoy your stay :) This from a skittle-like ram, close up :)

Greetings from Moonpig !

--What a friendly lot ! Must return the compliment....so Moonpig starts his greeting...sticks trotters up snout, bobs tongue out (which iz a sign of respect so am told) crosses eyes, & if u real clever.....spins round on 1 leg with fodder beet on snout. And az pinky friend iz juz an ordinary common pig (no crown on head at MFF)...juz signals with trotters in air and says...up yours :) (greeting from previous very short story called 'club' dated Tuesday April 3rd 2012 if any 1 is interested).

 --Please put your bodies inside ...THAT >...points 2 a transparent transport tube. So obliging as we are like, we step in & wriggle our bodies down as is tight fit like...Whooooooosh! Wheeeeeeeeee! Whoooaaamm! down, down, down, thru a blue erm...tunnel. Skid skid slip (brakes on) slip skiddy-d-skid!...

WOW!!! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

eventually tube ends & plonks pigs un-serra-moan-e-us-ly on the Mall floor. Looking round eyes gaze on an array of colorful shops beckoning us in with flashing NEON lights urging uz 2 spend! spend! SPEND! Moonpigs eyes light up ! 

-- oOOooo look says friend, lots of biro's, you can never have too many.

--Yeah right but i az biros left over from Hero, the salespig, who came 2 me door (see story Salespig).

--But these have little pink fluffy caterpillars on the end...friend says looking sad :(.

--On seeing disappointment on friends little face, Moony relents saying...K, get a shopping cart and we put some in then.

--Yippee, shouts friend, jumping around with Excitement (whos him ?) & grabs a trotter-full & plonks 'em in cart filling cart 1/2 up but Moony takes 1/4 out when friends back is turned :) Next we take our time 2 meander around the gardening section at Grave speed (said this way> Gra veh)...slow and serious looking like :) Over in the corner is somat like a VERY VERY large tree-like object ?

...but which way iz up????

--Looks interesting dont u think, says Moony bending this way and that, over and under, inside & outside & any which way :) Moony examines the ticket as 2 how 2 look after...erm, tree-like object. 

--What is it ??? says pinky friend scratching brow, i cant make top or tail of it ?...& frowns ^>@<^

--It's an 'Upsidedown' tree u con plant eet in say, Australia,(friend shouts out Australia-hope u got that :) ) & it shud grow all the way down to Britain ! Or if the world is turning it just might end up in ...mumbles somat un-intelligable...Must get 1. Heave ho! Cor, eet tay 1/2 hevvy. Giz a helping trotter oost?...What else do we need ? Let's go down here a bit, come on push that cart a bit faster, stick ur back in2 eet.

-- Shouldn't you pay for it here Moony...pants friend, who sweats like a pig at all the exertion & > points 2 till....& security in the form of somat, watches on! (tick-tock)  :)

--No we not nicking the stuff it's ok we con pay at the end...com on juz karry on walking, [whistling a silly song ?]....2 b cont...

Nimbus XIII ... part 2 of 6

Part 2 of 6

...Rrrrr erm, read out sez, a very nice friendly planet 2 vizit wiv an impressive shopping mall, ooOOoo U wanna come along friend ?

--O.K. says pinky friend, grinning like a Cheshire cat. (wow i was so impressed with that ! I mean that must of been hard 4 a pig 2 do !!! )

--Sit there then and mind the controls, i remember wot happened last time !!!! (see story Nav-oo-r4)... good....settle down now...(friend grins broadly)...i'll switch on the engines....Vzhzhzhzhzhzh! (noise of well maintained thruster engines) now i make slight adjustment, juz...like...soooo. Moony moves the Electromagnetic Vibrator...just a little bit, Woammm-mmmm! (noise of...guess wot ). Think i'll juz set a corz wiv me Space Sat Nav az i noze that coordinates coz i wrote them down in me book...i found 'em out wen i waz cleaning this draw out c, (click,clickerty click)...(sets a corz 4 Nimbus XIII). Zhooooooooooosh!...UFO takes off...All done here pinky friend 4 now...az u bought somat 2 do, like read a book, till we get there ?

Is that Serenity flying by ???

--Um, no (looks blank > (  ) much like that < pigin hell that woz eazy 4 friend 2 do) How long will it take to get there Moony as i must get back in time for tea ?

--No probs, we con eat on Nimbus XIII...here...(shoves book in2 friends trotters entitled, 'The Pig-Hikers guide 2 The Galaxy', a paperback book with the friendly words DONT PANIC written on the cover! ). I gets me a book from draw entitled, 'Life, The Universe & Somat'...leaving another 2 read L8r...thats called 53 More Things 2 Do In Zero Gravity. It has gravy stains on it & a penciled in number 2.. :) couldnt think of Y rite now...not even 53 things ??? 

Hum of engines send pigs to sleep

Everything is hunky doory (going along fine), & with the hum of engines in background... both pigs drop off 2 sleep when.....a loud announcement from Moony's Space Sat Nav startles them both back 2 consciousness...saying...'Arriving at Nimbus XIII in 5 minutes and counting'...

--Friend wakes up with a JERK, (erm, we r not talking 'bout moonpig here !!!). Are we there yet, Moony ?

-- Almost, juz pick the books orf the floor then & put 'erm away....noise of Space Sat Nav continues....

Space Sat Nav...erm...talking :)

'Arriving at Nimbus XIII in 4 minutes and counting'...Ok. Ok. thx Sat Nav, i con take eet from here. Space Sat Nav looks hurt but complies with request...Hzhzhzhzhzhzhzhv! (noise of well maintained reverse thruster engines...Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...UFO landed and moonpig lowers the steps.

--Pinky friend says, You go first Moony :) & watch the steps, they might be slippy ;)

--Yeah thx 4 that. U wait at the top then while i go down...Moonpig descends with a bit of slipping and sliding as metal and trotters do not always go well 2gether, (well he'd upgraded from a even slippier wooden ladder).

--Friend squints & suggests...Might need some anti-slip matting on them steps...points with trotters.

--I know that ! Frowns ^>@<^ (like that)...i was gona buy sum from here Nimbus XIII if they az any ?

Stepping cautiously, trotters disappear slightly, as swirls of cloud drift around & about them & their ankles, (do pigs have ankles ?)....2 b cont....