At The Gym Weights & Things part 2 of 4

Weights & Things:Part 2 of 4

..."Gasp!Groan!Gasp!" grunted U..."Cant you" puff pant!,"slow it down Moony ?"

"Yup, but u need 2 touch that red button there(points)."

"Like this" says u ?...touchy,(presses red button) oops!..&..Reebok Performance T5.2 Treadmill threw poor friend off onto a nearby...

Spider has less legs!!!

a nearby Kettle Advantage Electromagnetic Exercise Bike with 8kg flywheel!...Rrrrrrrr Rrrrrrr Rrrrrrrr (noise of bike pedals)."Wow, look at u go" oinks Moonpig..."Cant make ur trotter-legs out...u like got as many as 1000 spiders!" Woz going at such a speed...& such  noise coming from, from...the smoking bike which 'burst into flames' az fast az that :)...& along came a member of staff with a fire extinguisher & squirted bike & pig!!

"Have 2 get a replacement bike" he frowned & grunted. 

I pointed 2 me friend of corz & oinked..."Its me friends fault, friend will show off ." :)

That's right friend....FASTER!

Next we tried the Pro Fitness Cyclone Air Rowing Machine ( as seen in the Argos catalogue ).This machine cud tell u how many calories u were using, the distance u'd rowed az well az the speed &...&...time in every country all at the same instant in time, very impressive wot ! LOL...sooo shoved friend on2 it & oinked..."Show me how 2 do it then!"

I cud lie here & watch u all day!!

...Hmmm! Wasnt going 2  fast...sooo u know what? ...I got a needle out of me pocket & JABBED it in fat rump of friend....Friend let out a shriek & a list of words av never heard of b4 &...at the same time friend jumped up & pulled erm...er...somat orf the machine rendering it useless....Whistling like...fhhhhhii fhhhhhhiii (noise of us whistling) we snuk off...lol...2 b continued

At The Gym Weights & Things ... part 1 of 4

Weights & Things: Part 1 of 4

can c ur curly tail

The next week fort i'd try out the weights (coz i hadnt lost much weight). On the way...met ...guess who? Yes U !!!...who 4 some odd reason was hiding b hind a big bush  (couldnt fool me corz i cud c ur curly tail hehe).

"Hi me bestest friend....u trying 2 avoid me or somat ?"

"Yes" squealed me piggy friend.

"Well, which is it ? Avoid or somat ?" tapping me trotters in...in an-oy-ance

"Somat," Oinked you, i seem to of lost me er ...marbles...yes thats it i know i had 'em somewhere?" (looks all around the ground presumably for presumably lost...erm marbles).

Soooo...I grabbed your trotters & off we went to the gym(well had 2 drag u a bit).

"So-kay, we try the weights room 2day & start orf small c."..smiles i :) like that!

"Okay" squealed friend, who proceeded to get...2 marbles out of skin-pocket & then glued them onto a pencil, (2 make weights...tut! How challenging...not.)

We watched a Pro doin' it ??? on the floor !!!
 "Oh thats a good way 2 burn calories," says me, who u doing it with? Cant c from this angle."

Erm...burning calories

Few grunts came from Randy & t'other pig who looked like was gettin' a bit...erm...how shall i put this deli-kate-lee...like ?...erm...squashed!

Think he (Randy),said Lola, then roared "Buzz off i dont like b-ing watched." Fink thats wot he said? Or words 2 that effekt! He more like raging bull then pig going at it. Anyway we went 2 try out the Reebok Performance T5.2 Treadmill.

How many legs u got ?

"Thiz iz a push-over, tiz eez-zee"  i says & sew pushed me friend on & turned the speed up az wos going 2 slow...& legs looked they b-longed 2... erm....well they looked like spiders legs, erm...hehe...all 10 of em ( cor recall how many legs spiders have...but its....alot!) &...&...2 b cont

At The Gym Fitness Class... part 3 of 3

Fitness Class : Part 3 of 3

..."Right ease ur leg back....just a little farther...farther" oinked Bertha.

i inched a fraction more

"like thiz" i said (ouch)!

" Fantastic" oinked Bertha. "Good work."..she actually smiled at me....woz i showing somat i

Was i showing somat i shudn't ?

shudn't..i clutched me crotch, lol.We all got off the floor & i wiped my...face on a towel & took a glug of water,glug glug glug! (alright so it was 3).

Bertha came up to me & said "Fantastic work out wasn't it just think of all the calories you've burned off...now whos for weights ?"

...Me & me friend started to sneak out of the door to try somat a little less taxing.

Piggy friend says "Lets go & get some fish & chips, i'm starving!"

Lets get outta here!

"Shhh! Berthas listening & she's frowning at uz."

We ran outside & Moony said "lez get a drink at the pub 2. U con av a cola & mines a pint " :)

At The Gym Fitness Class ... part 2 of 3

Fitness Class : Part 2 of 3

..."Now do the funky pig...thats right...go for it!...shouted Bertha.
I honestly tried my best but i cudn't c 4 the sweat! ( hey whats this? thought pigs didnt sweat! )...then...Bash! right in2 friend & we fell 2 the floor giggling.
"Come on u 2 ur not getting fit lying there Bertha grunted!"

Do pigs sweat ?

We managed 2 get back in step & marched on the spot.
"Well that completes the WARM UP !!"
We both groaned & oinked as she started on the next exercise.
"Right now for the fat burner." Bertha bobbed about in front of us her pink skin glowing & her...er...thingys bouncing.
"Come on skip on the spot....last time she called out....& 1 more for luck." 
We groaned again.Eventually she uttered wonderful words "It's time 2 cool down", more gentle moves now.
We both slowed down & swayed gently.
"I didnt say stop !" snorted Bertha, "now for stretches."
I sighed with Relief (that was name of pig on me other side) & sank onto the floor....2 b cont