Planet 4saken ... part 1 of 8

mopping his brow b-tween his legs

PLANET 4saken: part 1 of 8

Commisioners forts came 2 me head...by fort contact...Ow!Ow ee!Oo chee ouchy! (them were strong)...
'Well Moonpig...you don't seem 2 of come up with a new substitute fuel for our UFO's yet!' he bellowed...well it was more of a Big Grunt......
"No...sorry sir...u want me 2 return home 2 Zork :) ?".....
'NO! NO! NO!..dont do that!' (cud almost c him mopping iz....erm...brow..b-tween iz legs :) say he was pretty good at yoga..).
'You must go to a planet named '4saken'...now it's been at war for as long as i can remember, thats why no one has ever gone there but you seem like u cud handle it...so...GO! Go NOW!'
....Hmm!  song came 2 me sew i sing, #( that hash means am singing..remember )We've already said goodbyeeee since i gota go Oh id'e better go now(da dum dum da dum dum=backing drone) Go now go now go nowww...etc...

The Commissioner

Commissioner grunted out LOUD...'R U LISTENING 2 ME MOONPIG.'
..."O yeah but i just want ..want".... commisioner woz gone "soooo!...erm!...any 1 want 2 cum along 4 a joyride?" (nervous laugh/oink)...2 b cont.

Stargate ... part 5 of 5

STARGATE:Part 5 of 5

Fire fire!...Bee-bar-bee-bar...fire engine came in2 view.
"Quick quick! me farmhouse iz burning down! Flames licking every where!"Well they were firsty & ....SSssSzzSSss (noise of fire b ing put out).Got a right telling off from Mr. Firenationman "Dont sleep while the bunsen burner is still lit & you should never ever drink alcohol to excess....btw mines a double martini shaken not stirred thx." Gulp!"And with that took off back 2 fire station.
Sooo! that was the end of that x-periment no possible fuel..sob sob..2 take back..sob..sod..(now how did that get in ?) will i ever get back 2 Zork ?...might az well cheer uz up & sing more # I cut my nails & i wriggle my bum, I'm really nervous but eet sure iz fun, come on baby, u drive me crazy, goodness gracious great balls of fire.......u fine, sew kind, I got this farm & eets mine mine mine....goodness gracious great balls of FIRE..thats eet now lets sleep....clean up in the morning....hey friend u gona stay the night? If u r ...keep 2 ur own side of the bed i'm not in the mood!....end

Stargate ... part 4 of 5

STARGATE: Part 4 of 5

...in my UFO i az a fully fitted Lav....?...Oh! i meant Lab...short 4..?!? well u know wot eets called."Thax me friend juz put the sample in test-tube there...watch me trotters...no not literally
..like this lol....i dont want flat trotters. There..light the bunsen-burner & wait C wot develops(nice photos -not!).Tum-tee-tum (noise of uz waiting).Lets av a rest while we waiting, and lie around, tell u what we cud do while we wait..,u want 2 C me etchings?"

"Yup" says u...."K" i says.....(shuffling noise) ...."now show me urs (more shuffling noises).

Sooo whos got the best ?"

"Don't know"says u.

"Let's measure 'em...wots that ?..U want a drink ?"

So we drink....lots....& more...Hic hic,"Welsh..I ffinksh the tesht shouldsht bist donsht nowst"...so we roll out 2 the lab &....C flames shooting everywhere!! Firesh!Hic!Firesh! so now we sing(out of key)# U shake my nerves & U rattle my brain, 2 much drink drives a pig insane, U broke my ass (sorry glass), oh wot a frill, GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!....2 beesh konsh tinoosh.

Stargate ... part 3 of 5

STARGATE:Part 3 of 5

..."quick...lets jump on that African ruminant wiv long neck & legs."& with 1 swift movement (hey...never mind how it got there..i'm telling the story!) 

Sooo..jumped on2 its back, which startled eet & eet ran orf at a good pace...rumpiteerumpitee..(noise of giraffes hooves)..which gave uz sore buttocks from its boney uncushioned back...saw somat familiar (not witches black cat)..

...Sooo...slammed on the brakes...erererrk! tumbled 4ward thru polo mint & landed on our delicate parts (thats our SNOUTS..well what was u thinking of..tut!)..got me dermal ray-gun & aimed eet at polo mint...Pow!Pow!Pow!! Zap!Zap! & Stargate door disappeared.

"Got any plasters me old mate?"

'Yup' says you...we put them on our delicate particles that needed 'em.

"Wot waz that me old mate, wot u say u got...Oh! u picked up a sample so as we could C if can make fuel out of eet...better bring it 2 my Lab"......2 b....yeah ...u guessed...

Stargate ... part 2 of 5

Stargate:

part 2 of 5

...trotters did not touch the floor az we ran in2  the deep dark jungle, in2 the forest of fear & trepidation!..ARGH!..spider came running...help HELP squeeeaaalll, oink."Here flex my pinky ;)...Oh i mean my greeny..no not my finger this here...ouch b gentle with it..k now aim 4 its eyes..a spurt of erm! coloured water with ammonia hit spidey..ssshpallt!"  :) 

Then we both flashed....our plasma torches (which i had in me pocket) in2 its eyes...spider loosed off...pherp!..a blood curdling scream like this...i said like this...(wheres the special efects). eEEeekkee ! said spidey...az it looked at me cybernetic inplants that were pulsating away....then it lunged at uz and I managed 2 slice a leg off...(the spiders!)

& put it me pocket.

We ran in2 the gorse bushes ripping our skin and...and...other things hehe!

"Wheres the compass?" I ask.

"What did u say u dropped it!!?"

How we gona find our way back!!!!!

2 b continued