The Factory Designs

Ear r sum items i made
 in 1 of me factories.
Pattern is called 'Melons'.

Con b used 2 store biscuits in or rusty nails...infact whatever u want.

Cum 4 a walk round 1 of me sweat shops...erm... i mean factories.
Ear in corner u c pig working at potters wheel iz name iz Cliff.

C how x-pertly he flings the lump of clay on 2 err...almost the centre of wheel..whirl whirl (noise of potters wheel).He iz shaping a mug...thaz going a bit wonky Cliff !


Still we can't all av perfect mugs. Cliff eventually puts mug in 2 oven 2 b fired....& ears 1 he made

earlier. CLIFF i shout u idiot ! U put customers name in inside of mug...shud of been on outside of mug! TUT! Crash! Oops! drops 1 on floor...Ear Cliff take this glue & stick eet 2gether...Woz that u say...1000 pieces....Well customer wont notice or we cud do a new line in 3-D jigsaw DIY mugs :)  We leave Cliff shaking broken china off iz trotters (not 2 successful am afraid).Wipe glue off  ur head 2 !Oink!

This iz Clarice..she az a paint brush in her trotters & iz doing sum bizz-zar patterns on sum sugar sifters & plates & so on... I whisper in her ear that i dont fink that pattern will go down 2 well wiv the customers.

2 more pigs r working away on china, 1 iz named Bezwik & other iz Spode.

Over ear iz 2 pot-bellied pigs, name of Hall & Mark...they got job of making all greeting cards & calenders. NO! I oink u don't spell that name like that! Pfutt (noise of disgust) & i think NOT every month az 32 days!! U juz can't get the staff these days & az we turn 2 leave i shout....& those same day flower orders better get out of sweatshop...erm...meant factory by next week or else!

Some 1 shouts 'up ur's...but we r out of earing range.

      Ear is another design
      Guess wot this pattern is called ??

      We grow 'Sunflowers' on MFF
      Remember the game i dropped in2
      that i told u about ?
      My Free Farm !




Next time i'll tell u a little bout club i started up.
Bet u can't wait eh!..oink!

 (3) Me Name...Well i might az well say that earth b came me adopted home, 4 the while at least. I worked hard on me farm & soon...funny 2 legged aliens know az 'farmies' came 2 buy me veggies and wot ever else i cud grow also u con sell ur stuff on the market in Mootown.Watch out 4 the 10% tax. Looked in me trotter-book similar 2 ur handbooks & found out another name 4 farmies which was...'humans'.On planet Zork me name is.... MOONPIG....Oh!..me beautiful home ..sob! sob! sniff! .......x-cuse me while i blow me snout...PARP!...thaz better.....2 support meself on Earth...u use funny money eh!..i set up a company...u may of heard of eet ? "moonpig.com" also sister company "funkypigeon.com"....both promise the same....2 personalise any cards & gifts u may buy & send them out sum time in the future....or a little L8r, & may mix ur names & spelling up a little(that takes HARD concentration often i stick tongue out and stare, actually fink ham what u call a little dyslexic !){ BTW This site is entirely fictional & has no connection with any other companies currently in existence or gone in2 liquidation}...Oh! yes...will charge u twice if u like....soooo!!!....watch out!!!OINK!.......2 b (yes u guessed it) continued....hehehe!

The Search

Hi fans grunt..plz remember 2 read in the rite order else eet woe make sense ,snigger.

Part 2 The search
There i woz warping round the universe.....
WOW! Such a big place. I keep in touch with me home planet..Zork, thru 'thought contact'. Saw a sign post that said "The Milky Way", so i headed the way eet pointed...y not! ...can't always rely on me Space Sat Nav...(now wen u C this hash #...right, means ham singing)...so...# Here i hammmmm floating in me tin cannnn highhhh above the moonnnnn planet Earth iz blue & there's nothin' me can doooooo!.....

Lots of...erm, SPACE.

HEY! lets take a closer look at that blue planet fort i...so i landed with a THUD ! Not got used 2 controls yet :)...Ah, this iz Middle Earth ! Little did i know eet woz 2 b-come me adopted home. 2 blend in i started a farm, then while farming, i started me search 4 fuel & 1 of ur kind earth-pigs...well  we r ALL pigs...look at ur photo b-tween contact papers called Profile & ?..erm..that's the question mark or 'elp section...C told u so...i ham the same...cept green...2 understand last few sentences ...em...ear goes (wrong Earth word but who cares)..i actually landed in2 a game. It's called My Free Farm..have u heard of it ? (looks thoughtful)...where woz i ?? Oh yeah...fuel...1 of ur kind earth-pigs suggested.... Fodder Beet Juice or Rapeseed oil. Hmm, well that mite work. Another seemed 2 suggest Lager & Strawberry Crush!!...Well if eet doe work...can always drink eet !!! Hic ! hic ! BURP ! Oopps ! (goes shade of darker green) ..2 b cont...:)

In The Beginning

Beginnings

In the Beginning--Ah! planet Zork...me home..lovely green planet & uz...little green pigs.
Infact everything iz green...xcept the purple trees & yellowy green striped grass .
I ham quite young & 1 day the Commissioner of our planet called a large meeting.
He looked worried  :(   as we gathered in Central Square.

He said "we r running out of fuel 4 our spaceships(UFO's) & i need 1 piglet 2 search the galaxies & planets 2 find a new fuel source. Whoever wants this ...very important job...take 1 step 4ward."

Hi Fans....oink!

......CLUMP! I looked round & i woz...i woz...out in front (every1 else had taken a step back C but not me, i woz dreaming....again)...I woz grabbed hold of real fast, shoved in2 me UFO & off i went....Whooosh! Never had the chance 2 say "adios" 2 me mom, dad & siblings.....2 b continued

Introduction

Hi fans, hehe.Well as u can c i am little green pig & where do i come from? Ever heard of Zork? Well thats my home planet.Its far far far away,& how did i get here? Well thats quite a story OINK!

Moonpig