Bistro ... part 4 of 4

Bistro part 4 of 4

.....Loaded the dish washer & went back thru...2 where Al capone & his mob were...tried 2 get a 'rapore' wiv 'em so i says "apparently my mate's got Swine Flu, I think he's just telling porkies though.....erm..er..I've just been diagnosed with Gammon Flu. I originally had swine flu but I've been cured."

They looked at me az if i had gone out of me mind...I carried on..."tried 2 telephone the NHS [UKs National Health Service] helpline all day 2day 2 ask about pig flu, but all we got on the line was crackling."

Bugys says "You got what did you just oink?

 

 

crackling on line ?

You say Swine Flu!?"

...dont think he'd heard properly...."SWINE FLU!!!GAMMON FLU!!! SWINE FLU!!!!" went the shout...then a rush 4 the door ....da rum da rum darum!!!(noise of thunder of trotters)eeaakk! slam out thru the door they ran...Then we had big party az i had got rid of the most feared mob in the town...End.

Bistro ... part 3 of 4

Bistro: Part 3 of 4

 

 (3) 1 of the mob grunted "come here U swine! Get up!!"...so..U got up &..shaking a leg & just about everything else...U approach gangster looking-pig that goes by the name of Al Capone. He says "make my day Punk...play me a toon on the old 'joe-anna'."(piano)

"Sure," says u but as you were very nervous .. no one recognised the toon u were playing as u kept hitting the wrong notes...Plink Plinky Plonk !(noise of piano toon).

  "Stop that awful din!"....snorted 1 of Al's mob..Bugys i think it was?

..& while i was serving din-din slops 2 'em noticed 1 had a twitchy eye, another had a cauliflower ear(or was that a cauliflower in his ear ?),

nother had a BIG scar on face...."What you looking at! he barked", (which is hard 4 a pig 2 do b-lieve me).

"Nuffin" I mumbled & scurried away in2 the kitchen....2 b cont.

Bistro ...part 2 of 4

BISTRO: Part 2 of 4

Occasionally i woz given the most prestigious job of doing the dishes.

It woz pretty 'run of the mill' each day, that means u do the same things over & over again...in fact i cud do eet wiv me eyes blindfolded...so i day i did !!

When i took the blindfold orf...there u were...in the corner...sitting at the piano...tinkling the ivories. I went up 2 u & said 'play it again Sam'.

"My names  not Sam !!!" you oinks.

"My apologies," says i..."i must of read the script wrong that i woz given...lol.

Just then, a mob of pigs burst in2 the Bistro in the middle of the day...waving their 'pieces' of bread but shaped like guns.

Customers & staff hit the floor instinctively...making big dents in it.......2 b continued.

Bistro ... part 1 of 4

Bistro: 1 of 4

Needed 2 earn some xtra pd as things were getting tight.

What with all the coins 2 buy & my own personal village quests & 2 top it all my street 'cred' had gone crashing thru the pavement...sew i took a job at the Bistro.

Twas serving drinks & food 2 the diners. The pay woz lousy but eet woz a friendly place 2 work in (the tips came in handy 2).

When the last customer left the staff sat down each night 2 a terrific meal (slops..a mish mash of what was left over) slurp burp erp...gulp (noise of eating slops).

BISTRO

The staff were all pigs!! Some of  'em were of mixed dubious race...u cud say they were mostly Pig Ignorant & a load of prats, so I was among good company...lol...2 b cont.

The Miracle Of Life : Part 4

 At last Moonpig stops swinging pinky friend round & round (well both were getting rather deezee).

Friend says,Lets share that apple pie.

---Great.

---U know i never thought about life like that b4...u put some little 'dead' thing in2 the ground & it grows...in2...fooooood.

Moonys eyes light up & b-gins 2 droooool...Yeah...as long as u dont try 2 put a live animal in2 the ground & xpect 2 grow in2 MORE animals he he !

Friend stares at Moonpig 4 a bit ^O@O^ (like that)then says...Oh yeah!...Think piggy friend got it! Then chases Moonpig round the farmhouse giggling & 4 getting the COLD (shiver !! ) & dark (Bogeypig man might get u)days of approaching WINTER.

Finally collapsing on nice comfy chairs...they sit & eat apple pie,yum yum.

Hang on a min I says 2 friend...switch on the light plz it ay arf gone dark in here...might miss me mouth & that wud never do!

---k---

Chomp ! Munch ! (noise of erm eating).K that finished now just have 2 check on me farm ,here me bestest friend (hands over a lit candle in an old rusty lantern) ,u go check me farm :).

---Wot if i meet the Bogeypig man ?

Thats a risk i am prepared 2 take (snigger) says Moonpig.Anyway there is NO such thing & winks,>@^ (like that)...& shoves friend out...& locks the door....just in case.