Lumberjack Pig ... part 2 of 3

Lumberjack Pig: 2 of 3

 ..'SQUEAL'...squealed erm...my friend...Opps! 2 L8..U woz ...woz...wearing a saw on head or woz eet 

IN head !...mate U day 1/2 look sick .. sick az a ...a...sick pig ! oink!

No stopping me though. I got me big tool out (was petrol chainsaw :)  ) & started singing # Timber timber timber i cry, if the chainsaw dow get 

me i'll live till i die....RRrrrrrmmh, RRrrrrrmmmhhhh,RRRR-HHHH-MMMM-H (noise of chainsaw 58X,, 24" cut made by LazerCut a heavy duty pro make !)

Oophs.

It slipped.....

ARGH!..saw all this red stuff run 

down me leg & tree...(shouldn't that b green stuff?) ...QUICK...get me cell phone out of pocket & called 4 

ambulance...coz by now me little pink friend had cum 2 and janked saw out of head 

& now there woz a red fountain spurting out of friend's head (Hmm! nice touch). So i pressed buttons on cell phone....Beep Bur Berp !

(noise of...Yawn...cell phone )....then heard sirens...in distance...them were sirens of ambulance....

'OVER HERE'...'IN THE FOREST' we both squealed!! 'HELP!.'.......2 b....continued......

Lumberjack Pig ... part 1 of 3

Lumberjack Pig: 1 of 3

 Time 2 cut sum trees down in me forest....so i takes me tools i might need in me wheelbarrow & pushed eet along the forest path.

Hmm!..that tree looks like juz wot i need....tum te tum...( thats me getting ready  me tools ).."Oh hello  my little pink friend, didn't x-pect 2 find u ear, u want 2 help ?" 

"Better put these protective erm... 'LOOK ' goggles on they will keep the erm...little bits that fall out of ur eyes..ok. U can hold this tree so az i wont fall orf it(hehe)."

My friend looked a bit...mystified...but put trotters on the tree...2 hold it still.

"Like this ?" says me friend.

"Yep! Thats good." says I...so i puts me spikes on me trotters (2 help me climb trees) & i takes me saw (2 saw orf little branches) :) Hmm..primitive tools thought i .

 Next strapped me .. .erm strap round tree & me...& took along ..heavy object...coz might need this 4 when i get 2 thicker branches....humfph humfph...(sound of pig climbing tree)..:)

"MY!..this iz harder then i fort , dont shake the tree, keep still." i squeals 2 me pink friend...well 1/2 way up...and....oohh!..dropped saw...weeeeeeehh plop!... 

"WATCH OUT DOWN BELOW !!!!!" i grunted :)

 I heard a terrifing squeal...'SQUEAL'...like that   :(  woz me friend....2 b continued....

Poetry Corner.

TITLE: Leisure

Oh my life is full,it's full of care

I just have all day 2 sit & stare

On my wooden bench i sit, b neath the boughs

& outstare both silly sheep & cows

I walk thru my lovely green forest & pass

where Cyril the squirrel hides his nuts in grass

I cavourt all day in the bright sunlight

Doing cartwheels & watching stars at night

I turn at times 2 look b hind & glance

& if no1 is there i do my moondance

I just have time 2 fill my watering can

& i smile while cooking T in my old saucepan

R a satisfiying life this is full of farming

Yet still i have time 2 do me gardening 

Thought u'de like a change this week...lol.

Next week i have 2 tidy me forest up.Sooo....c u then then!

Planet 4saken ... parts 7 and 8

heading 2 Earth

Planet 4saken: Parts 7 & 8

..then they lifted us both up on their shoulders and sang # Moonpig is our god ,how deep r his thoughts how great r his works...etc...well i dont want 2 get a big head :)..Well we were stuck there now coz i was their god (i have 2 get 2 UFO)....so then when they fell asleep (course i made a sleeping pill & added it 2 their porridge)..i woke my pink friend  & we ran & ran (with our torches switched 2 FULL glow)....collected weapons we had dropped....and 1 or 2 samples along the way 2 analize back on earth...since i cant go home ..sob.. sniff..parp! (blows me snout)switched on engines VZhzhzhzhzhzh and zoomed back 2 earth....NO..DONT DO THAT MY PIGGY FRIEND ! ! ! 

 2 L8....OH ! u just leaned on the jettyson button...& now ALL our samples gone in2 space!

...."No they havent",got this porridge in me hanky says u..

..K...give it me then 4 safe keeping...maybe ,just maybe we can duplicate it & it will work..just store it in the freezer...till i get time,must do me farm 1st... 

(8)WOW!! this porridge thingy might just work! Have 2 mix this with that...& that with this..then twiddle it round... just 1 more thing! POOF! POOF!(noise of succesful x periment).So now i contact commissioner with NEW FUEL 4 our UFO's HURRAH !

...BzzzBzzzBzzBzz...Hi commisioner i have completed my mission,says i jumping up & down and will send u by thought contact the xact recipe I was sent 2 find!..voice came back 'Well done moonpig'...I'll just give it 2 our top sciencepigs 2 C if they can duplicate it enuf !...10 hrs L8r....Yup...that is GRRREAT!

think commissioner was in party mood !

....Well i did cartwheels (something we cant make in the forest oh, we can make picture frames, tubs,hayracks and rakes...wooden spoons 2 come if u play My Free Farm)..Can i come home now then ? DEADLY SILENCE  Hello ?? Erm its little me commissioner ??? Hello...Hello....HELLO!...HELLOOOOOO!..seems like am stuck here,perhaps commissioner will get in touch with me 2moro & give me coordinates so as i can get a lock on that & go home (mine in UFO computer seems 2 of been...erased somehow)Oh bye my pink friend & thx 4 helping me out (i think)......home...Oh thats a good sound home... HOME! .... R planet Zork...my HOME.

Hey i think am getting the hang of this language now...so plz xcuse few mistakes i make...lol

AFTER PLANET 4SAKEN:The letter... turned on radio song playing was 'Message in a bottle',gave me an idea! :) I have this bottle shaped capsule hmm..i wonder... since i had lost contact with commissioner sort of...i do what humans do...Soooo i pulled feather out of hen (YANK!lots of angry clucking) i write a letter & send it in2 space!Music changed 2 ABBA,so i sing along # Mamma mia here i go again my my how can i resist yer mamma mia,does it show again my my just how much i missed yer...I start 2 write ,scribble scribble(noise of feather pen)Letter says'Dear Mamma...by the time u get this letter i may already b on me way home.Hope u & dad r ok & me numerous bro's & sis's(more scribbling)I am...Iam enjoying meself here on Earth (sob sob!)..so plz don't worry urself bout me (sniffle sniff)I have lots 2 keep me occupied what with the farms & cafes i help out with...not 2 mention my suck-sess-ful business's namely Moonpig.com & Funkypigeon.com...am real...busy.(parp! blows me snout)..i hardly have time 2 miss u & planet Zork my home'( Oh what a good liar i am )...signed...Moonpig.I get in my UFO & gets high enuf 2 send capsule out of rocket launchers at warp 10.Hope it goes in2 right flight path as Space Sat Nav is down 2. It should only take 3-4 yrs 2 reach..hopefully...spliffffhszzh(noise of capsule b ing ejected in2 outerspace) There..done..(sob sob)...am cracking up.Have 2 get drunk on me fodder beet wine i have made...Hic hic!